Kiddnaped
by Liv2watchGh
Summary: What will happen when three Port Charles residents are kidnapped by Jerry Jax? What will happen when half the town decides to find them and play hero? We'll tell you what a whole lot of drama, comedy, and action.
1. Where Darleen?

**A/N Hey everybody I hope you will all enjoy our new GH story. Don't forget to review with any comments or suggestions!**

**Background Info.**

_**This takes place a year after Jason's death. Sam is officially dating John, who adopted Rafe after his mom's death. Lucy is still in Freincliff, but all the charges were dropped against Todd and eventually he was forgiven by Starr and Carly, his girlfriend. Alexis dumped Shaun and eventually married Mac. Robin was saved by Anna and her and Maxie are Sam's step sisters. Also Carly and Sam became friends mourning over Jason, even though Sam never forgave Todd for the baby switch. Sam is now back in the PI business. **_

"I'm Darleen!" Sam said in a fake southern accent as she flipped her blond wig out of her eyes and flashed the cop a smile.

"Oh uh how do you uh spell that?" the dark-haired cop asked nervously.

"D~A~R~L~E~E~N I think the ee classes it up, I mean my roommate Taffee Ryan she got that ee thing going on in her name too, and I was like oh that soooo classes it up I mean don't you think so?" she said flashing another smile at the cop whose hand shook as he wrote down her undercover name.

"Uh do you have a last name?" he asked nervously once again.

"Uh yah I so do, but we should just stay on a first name basis cause' my folks are all in a very popular family business and I wouldn't want to make this a conflict of interest so just call me Darleen what's your name again oh Dave, Me and my friend Tafee we had a dog named Dave, but he drowned we was at the beach chasen some seagulls who stole our fried chicken and he got some crazy idea he could swim I mean he thought he was one of them swimming dogs and he was trying to do that doggy paddle thing but it just didn't work and I saw him and I'm like oh no but then it just went down hill from there, I mean literally we was at one of them hilly beaches and he slipped and he drowned but then we got a cat named Philly, you know like them cheese steaks, and you don't want to know what happened to poor lil Philly. He drowned in his own litter box! Then, we got a fish yesterday named Keith, and I just hope he don't drown in his water we gonna have to give him one of them fishy funerals and flush him down the toilet with all our business, I mean that is soooo unsanitary! I mean do you want to get flushed when you die? "she asked a now very confused cop.

"uh why don't we get back to business, uh so why were you stocking Dylan Jonas" he asked.

Sam sighed "Well Dilee, he's dating my BFF Tafee and he was cheating on her I mean ain't that crazy? so I was spying on him trying to get some evidents I mean don't I make a great spy?" she asked trying her best to get any form of charges dropped.

"Uh yah I uh guess but uh" Sam cut him off with a loud "shoot!" when she saw her boyfriend, John McBain, head twords them with a cup of coffee.

"Something wrong?" the cop asked as he noticed Sam turn her head and shrink in her chair in an attempt to hide herself.

"Oh nothing I just wanted to look at you from a different angle, you know you really have no bad side" Sam said smiling nervously as John passed.

"Hey Dave hey Sam...Wait Sam!" John said as he casually passed a fellow officer who was interrogating a blond sam. "What are you doing here" John asked noticing his girlfriend was in disguise and handcuffed.

"Um sorry sir I don't know what you talking about this is Dave not Sam" Sam said in an attempt to make him leave.

"Yes, I know that he's Dave but you are Sam" John said.

Dave shook his head "No officer McBain this is Darleen" Dave said as if it were obvious.

"oh, okay well what is Darleen in for?" John asked.

"Tafee's boyfriend Dilee filed a complaint because Darleen was spying on him" Dave said as if this all made perfect sense.

"oh all right I'll handle it from here Dave why don't you uncuff 'Darleen' and I'll see what I can do" John said.

"Darleen, hey I know your room-mate Tafee" said an officer from behind the desk.

"Oh you do, well I tell you what she's single now that her and Dilee broke up. You know I can give you her number right after Dave uncuffs me" Sam said smiling.

"Alright I'll get a pen!" the officer said excitedly running off at the exact moment Dave uncuffed Sam.

"Finally!" Sam said in her normal voice taking off her wig and handing it to Dave who looked at her shocked.

"I got the pen... uh where's Darleen?" asked the officer who Sam knew as Ted.

"She had to go change the water in her fish tank before Keith drowned" Sam said smiling.

"Oh okay" Ted said putting his head down in shame as he walked back to his desk.

"Thanks Dave" she said taking her wig and putting it on as she walked over to her boyfriend. "HI honey, you know you really have to stop blowing my cover i was totally about to get out of this" she said smiling.

John returned the favor "Well you really need to stop getting arrested all the time I'm starting to think you enjoy trouble" he said smirking.

Sam laughed "more like I've gotten use to it." she said putting her jacket on.

"Where you going?" he asked her.

"Home, Molly and Rafe have been baby sitting Danny for over an hour I think I should release them of their duties" she said smiling.

"Want me to take you there? he asked not wanting his girlfriend to walk home all alone. She shook her head "I'm not a little kid John , plus you have to work" she said.

"Are you sure, I can take an early lunch break" he offered. She shook her head again

"we're meeting Carly for lunch, plus I'll be fine it's not like I'm going to get kidnapped or something" she said.

John sighed "your right I guess I'm just being paranoid" he said.

Sam smiled "it's okay, I don't mind you being a little over protective, plus I do have a tendency to get into trouble" she admitted.

"Really I haven't noticed" He said sarcastically.

"Ha ha, see you later honey" Sam said kissing him on the cheek as she left.

"Okay, I'll be home for diner." John said.

"Alright, bye Dave" Sam said as she exited the building. Dave stood up suddenly knocking all the stuff off his desk "Bye Mrs. McCall" he said.

"Get back to work" John said noticing Dave stare at the door after Sam left. "Yes sir".

Sam exited the police station with a smile and began walking twords her apartment. She stopped when she heard a loud noise coming from an alley. Now most people would just walk away, especially if they lived in this town. But Sam has a natural sense of curiosity so she walked into the alley nervously. "Hello who's ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Sam screamed as a bag was placed over her head and a gag was placed in her mouth.

She tried to fight off her attacker but it seemed as if there were multiple or at least two. "Quiet down if you cooperate and do as we say you might just live long enough to see your son again"


	2. No i'm Connie

**A./N. Hope you all enjoyed our first chapter:) Remember to Read & Review!**

Todd Manning, owner of The Sun, sat in his office arguing with who must be the most annoying Alter in the word!

"For the last time we are not publishing a story about which lip gloss is better, and eye shadow do's and don'ts! Especially when it comes from a person who wears makeup like a circus clown!" Todd yelled angrily at Connie Falconeri.

" Todd a lot of people need help with make up, people like your ridiculous excuse for a girlfriend!" Connie fired back.

"This coming from someone who hasn't had a date in months!" Todd exclaimed.

"You don't know that! F.Y.I. I just went on a date last night." Connie replied.

"Oh yeah with who? And visiting that grandchild and almost son-in-law killer in jail doesn't count" Todd said smirking.

"Well, it might have been my Prada purse, but he still paid for the meal!" Connie defended.

"Oh yah is it a good kisser?" Todd asked sarcastically.

Connie smiled evilly "I don't know Todd, why don't you find out for yourself?" she yelled shoving her large pink Prada purse in Todd's face. Because of this neither of them saw two large men coming out of the elevator.

While Todd and Connie continued to argue, the two goons decided on their cover story. "Hello! We are looking for Connie Falconeri! She has won a reward of 1,000,000!" The taller of the two men said, his voice projecting throughout the room.

Connie dropped the purse, letting Todd breathe. Todd of course jumped at the opportunity to win money and yelled "I'm Connie Falconeri! It's short for Conner." This left the goons with confused looks.

" Um.. We kind of expected Connie to be a girl." One of the goons whispered.

"Yah, because she is! I'm Connie Falconeri." Connie beckoned to the goons.

"No, I am pretty sure I am Connie!" Todd protested.

"No I am 100% sure I am Connie!" said Connie irritably.

Todd and Connie continued on and on, until one of the goons interrupted them. " Okay lets cut to the chase, there is no reward for Connie we are here to kidnap her!" The goon admitted. "So which one of you is the real Connie?" He finished. Todd and Connie both pointed at the other.

"Oh so now no one wants to be Connie!" The goon raged.

"She is Connie, I mean seriously how many Conner's do you know? It is a really stupid name." Todd argued.

"My name is Conner." The buffer of the two goons bellowed.

"He is Connie! Like you just said Conner is a very possible and awesome name!" Connie defended. Once again, Todd and Connie continued to argue about who was Connie.

"He's Connie!"

"No she's' Connie!" They continued.

Then, the phone rang and Connie picked it up and answered "Connie Falconeri how can I help you?" She said cheerfully. "Dang it!" She said when she noticed her flaw.

"You know what! Since both of you want to be Connie, both of you can be kidnapped." The goon said pulling out his gun. "Conner! Go put these over Connie and Connie's heads!" The goon directed handing his partner two brown bags.

"Okay!" His partner responded gleefully. He place the bags over their heads and walked them towards the elevator. Todd could feel the movement of the elevator and said "Hey don't you think it would cause some attention if you walk us out with bags over our heads."

"Oh yeah he is right!" The goon named Conner said taking the bags off their heads. "Just remember I have a gun in my hand now, and I am not afraid to use it, so don't cause any unneeded attention towards us." The goon ordered showing them his gun.

"You can count on us!" Connie promised. The elevator door at once opened and Connie yelled "Help! These guys are crazy and they are going to kidnap me and Todd and we are going to die!"

The few people who were in the hotel lobby looked over, but did nothing thinking Connie was lying, and not really caring if she went missing for a few days. "What did I say about shutting your mouth." The goon whispered into Connie's ear.

"Yah, Yah, Yah I heard you the first time. It is not like anyone did anything." Connie whispered in return.


	3. stick with the prada purse

**A/N. Hey guys we hope you liked our first two chapters. We did a bit of editing to the first chapter if you want to check it you like it, don't forget to review!**

After Connie's outburst the guards decided it'd be safer to not go through the lobby. "Help, helpppp!" Connie yelled as the elevator doors closed in front of them.

"Quit whining Connie #1 or else we'll be forced to make you stop" said the bigger guard, Conner.

"Why didn't you help me back there Manning! Your stupid girlfriend owns this joint somebody might have actually tried to help us!" Connie complained as Conner tied her hands together with rope.

"Yah, well I hate to point this out, but you own this "joint" too, and Carly isn't stupid!" Todd argued as his hands were tied together as well.

Goon number 2 smirked "Well Connie #2 I hate to be the one to tell you this but we already got your girlfriend in our custody" He said with an evil smile.

"Okay let's get two things straight here, first off my name is Todd, T-O-D-D not Connie or Connor or any other name your small minds might come up with, and secondly you are going to let me out now and tell me what you've done with Carly or else things will not end well for you!" Todd screamed outraged.

"Oh so now you want to be helpful." Connie said rolling her eyes. Todd would have exploded right then and there but luckily the elevator doors opened at the top floor.

"Come on move it and be quiet" the smaller guard commanded placing bags over their heads once more and leading them through a hallway.

"You know I don't know if you two know this but I happen to be very wealthy and I'm sure we could reach some agreement where you two gentlemen walk out of here not only with Connie Falconeri, but much wealthier and all you have to do is let me go and tell me where Carly is" Todd proposed from inside his bag.

"No can do we can't tell you were Carly is cause' you'll try to save her, and you've already seen us kidnap Connie, you'll probably just go to the cops if we release you" the goon said shooting down Todd's offer.

"You see that's the beauty of this plan, I can honestly say I will not mention you two kidnapping Connie as long as you promise not to bring her back!" Todd said as they began to descend up some stairs.

"Ow!" he yelled as a high heel kicked his leg, almost knocking him down.

"Let's make one thing clear Todd, you are not getting out of this because you're using me as a bargaining chip!" Connie scolded as they reached the top of the stairwell and walked through a door leading them outside.

"You know Connie, maybe you've got a point, I mean out of all the people who would want to kidnap you I'm sure only a hand full of them hate me, I can probably just buy my way out of this." Todd concluded.

"Hey!" Connie screeched attempting to kick Todd again but hitting Conner instead.

"Hey, enough bickering you two!" He commanded rubbing his leg.

"Can you at least get these bags off our heads, I'm claustrophobic" Todd lied.

"Oh okay" the unnamed kidnapper said prying the two bags off their heads to show they were on the metro court roof.

"What are we doing up here, do you expect us to fly down using our umbrellas Marry Poppins?" Todd said sarcastically.

"No were going to call a helicopter to pick us up'" Conner said as if it were a brilliant idea. Todd rolled his eyes "Oh really well that's a great idea and all but I'm afraid of heights, and I think people might notice a giant helicopter landing on the roof" Todd said not wanting to get saved before he had a chance to find Carly.

"Oh, right well we weren't really gonna call a helicopter I was just checking to see if you two were paying attention" Conner covered. Just then Todd noticed it was much to quiet and turned to find Connie crawling away twords the roof exit.

"I think you have an escaped Connie" Todd said getting the guards attention. " Dang it!" Connie yelled as Conner grabbed her and placed the bag on her head once more.

"Thanks a lot Todd, you know I was gonna send help for you but now when I do escape I wont" Connie proclaimed from inside her bag.

Todd smirked "Well Connie now who does it seem is more likely to escape?" Todd asked. Connie didn't reply excepting defeat as one of the kidnappers got off the phone.

"Hey Conner I just called the boss, he said he's sending us a car we have to go through the back though." the man said as he got off the phone.

"Okay let's go you two, and no talking or else this time we wont hesitate to shoot you!"

After another long trip down stairs Todd and Connie waited with their kidnappers for a car that it seemed would never come. "You know fellas next time you kidnap someone you might want to have the escape plan ready before hand" Todd suggested as they waited.

"Hey, don't be so hard on us this is only our second kidnapping" Connor complained.

"Right, my girlfriend being your first" Todd concluded.

"Yah, and just so you know she cooperated much more than you two did!" said the guard whose name they found was Paul.

"Why do I find that hard to believe" Connie said snorting.

"Because you know Carly and something tells me that you've got a point I don't think Carly would go down without a fight" Todd said knowing his girlfriend all to well.

"Yah well it's easier when you have leverage I mean when we threatened her son she seemed to think following the rules was a good idea" Connor said.

"What'd you do with Mikey?" Connie asked.

Before her question was answered a black car with tinted windows pulled up. "Your rides here" said Paul shoving them twords the car.

"Wow your strong, do you work out?" Connie asked feeling for some reason now was a perfect time to hit on their captors.

"Stick to your Prada purse" Todd muttered as the two were shoved twords the trunk.

Connie got in first with a gun in her side as motivation. "You know I think I might have mention before that I'm claustrophobic" Todd said as they pushed him twords the trunk.

"Yah don't worry it'll be a short ride and when we get to our destination claustrophobia will be the least of your problems"


	4. Your over reacting

**A./N. sorry we haven't updated in so long! It has been a very busy month for us. we should be updating more regularly now. we will try to update this story every Tuesday. By the way from now on, we will be using Points Of Views! thanks for the comments, don't forget to review!**

**John McBain P.O.V.**

"Hello?" I said answering my phone. "Hey John its Carly! Just calling to check on Sam, she was supposed to meet me for lunch." Said Carly Jax who was on the other end of the line.

"Wait what do you mean she's not there with you. She told me about your lunch before she left the police station. That was the last time I saw her. You know what Carly I'm going to call this in. I'll call you back!" I panicked.

"Wait!" She yelled before I could hang the phone up.

"What is it Carly?" I said wanting to figure out where Sam was.

"John you are completely over reacting. I am so happy that Todd isn't this over protective." She said.

"Me! Over protective! Are you kidding me. I am not overprotective." I said furious.

"John. you called for backup at my summer barbecue because Sam was taking to long in the bathroom!" Carly threw in my face. "That was one time! And she did have a stomach ache. we needed the backup. Did you know that a simple stomach ache could lead t-" Carly cut me off. "I don't care".

"Alright fine, have you tried calling Sam?" I asked.

"No John I didn't think of that" Carly said sarcastically.

"No need to be rude, look I'll try calling her and I'll let you know if I get a hold of her" I said eager to end my conversation with Mrs. Jax.

"Whoa whoa whoa are you implying Sam just ignored my numerous calls?" Carly questioned. Here we go again.

"No Carly I'm not implying anything, all I'm saying is maybe her phone was off when you called and that it'd be smart to call her before we go crazy" I responded simply.

"Fine, just don't go crazy if she doesn't pick up okay John" Carly replied.

"I'll try my best" I said as I hung up and immediately began dialing Sam's number. No answer. I tried again, and again, and again and got the same results. I was about to call her for the 5th time when I got another call.

"John McBain" I answered.

"Oh my god John you need to call this in there is a person missing! We need S.W.A.T. and the CSI Miami team and some rescue dogs!" Shouted a panting Carly from the other end.

"Carly calm down what's going on" I replied calmly.

"TODD'S MISSING!" Carly yelled causing me to become temporarily death.

"Look calm down, everything's alright, how do you know Todd's missing?" I asked.

"Alright so after I got off the phone with you I called Todd" She started. "And..." I questioned. "And he didn't pick up!" Carly replied as if it were the end of the world.

I rolled my eyes "Well I don't know Carly did you think that maybe he turned his phone off, or his battery died" I questioned her.

"Look I don't know what kind of relationship you and Sam have, but when I call Todd he picks up!" Carly replied.

"Not that it's any of your business, but my and Sam's relationship is fine, actually it's better than fine, it's perfect!" I defended.

"Whatever you say, all I'm saying is I know where Todd is when I need to know, where as you lose Sam every 5 seconds!" Carly argued.

"Yah well maybe your relationship with Manning isn't as great as you think if he wont pick up your calls!" I shot back.

"It's not that he wont pick up, he can't! something is wrong Todd could be in danger!" Carly complained.

"Yah well Sam could be in danger too!" I reasoned.

"Oh please it's not like somebody kidnapped her or something, I mean what kind of crazy person would kidnap Sam?" Carly replied. I thought about what Carly had said. Who would kidnap Sam or Todd. I was about to tell Carly she was over reacting, but got another call.

"One second Carly, someone is on the other line." I switched over to the other line

"John McBain" I answered.

"Hey John," someone said in a sheepish voice on the other line, a voice I would recognize anywhere.

"SAM!" I yelled.

"Yah its me, listen I might be gone for a while because my old friend TAFEE, called and TODD and CONNIE came because KELP is Todd's favorite food. And Tafee's specialty is fried KELP And Connie is there to watch Tafee's KIDS while they take a NAP! Because her KIDS love to take NAPS. I even wrote a song. 'KIDS NAP AND KELP KIDS NAP AND KELP YOU SHOULD REALLY TRY SOME KELP! We also went to watch Tom and jerry, then we played some JACKS, With AUSTRALIAN accents." Something was obviously wrong. I'm not that stupid. Connie had obviously kidnapped Todd and Sam, and Jax helped. That JERK!

"Okay Sam I will definitely try to help you, where should I go." I asked.

"No John It was on speaker!".

"GRAB HER" I heard in the background. "432-78 Ferrell avenue CAliforniaaaaaaaaaaaaa ahhhh!" Was all Sam could manage to get in before the call was ended. I cursed under my breath.

I flipped back to Carly. "Carly, guess what I just found out!" I yelled.

"No no John me first. I just got a call from Todd him and Sam are fine. They are just visiting her cousin Marley, because she makes good seaweed, Todd's favorite dish. Connie is there too so the teens can watch her while she sleeps. Yah that part is strange. He also mentioned watching Looney toons with the duck with the British accent." Carly rambled. Either Sam was wrong or Todd was. Best bet was that Todd was.

(**FLASHBACK CARLY'S POV)**

"Hello Carly Jax" I said answering the phone, still a bit shaken from my talk with John.

"You know you should really stop answering the phone like that, I mean you did divorce the guy, plus I think Carly not Jax or Carly Manning has a nicer ring to it" said a voice on the other line.

"Todd!" I yelled excitedly.

"Carly!" he yelled in return causing me to smile.

"Where are you, are you okay" we both said at the same time.

I laughed "Yah I'm fine, I'm at home with Jocelyn, do you think you can come by?" I asked hopefully.

"I would love to, but I'm uh visiting Sam's cousin Marley because she makes really excellent grilled seaweed, which is my favorite, and sadly, everyone's favorite altar is here too so the teens can watch her sleep and then we're all watching Looney toons with the British duck" Todd said.

That was odd, but then again this was Todd. "Okay. well tell Sam I said hi and slap Connie for me" I said causing him to chuckle.

"Yah well I think Sam might beat me to it" Todd joked.

"Well if she does tell her thank you from me" I responded.

"Okay I.. I have to go I love you okay" He said quietly.

"I love you too, hurry back alright" I replied.

"Trust me I will not spend any unnecessary time with Connie, or without you" he said "Tell Joc I said hi" He finished and with that the line went dead.

**(Back to John's POV)**

"Carly I hate to be the one to tell you this but, Todd and Sam have been kidnapped by Jax and Connie" I said cautiously.

"WHAT!" Carly yelled so loud I'm pretty sure Sam and Todd could hear her in California. "How Do you know this, I mean this can't be happening I.. I just talked to Todd he's fine he.. he couldn't have been kidnaped, I mean Jax wouldn't do that, maybe Connie, but not Jax" Carly rambled.

"Carly it's fine Todd and Sam are going to be okay. Look I don't know why they would do this, well at least to Sam, let's face it Todd's not exactly good at making friends, but the important thing is we know where they are and we're going to find them" I said trying to calm her down.

"I don't get it John I was just talking to him, why didn't he say something" Carly replied.

"I think somebody was listening to their calls, Sam was barely able to give me their location, as a matter a fact I'm going to go call this in and see if we can get in touch with the Police in California, and with luck I'll be on the next flight to California" I said already grabbing my suitcase and stuffing clothes inside.

"John I'm coming with you" Carly said immediately.

"No you're not, Carly this could be dangerous, and Todd wouldn't want you in danger" I said trying to reason with her.

"Look this is not up for discussion I have to go, plus let's face it I wouldn't be surprised if you go to California, grab Sam, and "forget" Todd" Carly accused. I have to admit she had a point.

"Fine, but only because you'll end up going even if I say no" I finally replied. "Yeah, I'll go pack!" Carly said before hanging up.

"This is going to be a long trip".


	5. worst imprisonment ever

**A/N Hey guys, thanks so much for all the great reviews. We decided to update a little early so here it is! Hope you like it, don't forget to review!**

**Todd's POV**

Todd thought being kidnapped and thrown on a plane with Connie was the worst possible punishment ever. Then Sam came. After the long ride to the airport Todd and Connie were thrown on a plane and handcuffed to their seats. Conner and Paul sat across from them eating air plane peanuts and watching _"The Notebook" on_ a portable DVD player while Connie flirted with them. "You Come here often?" Connie said smiling. I rolled my eyes "Can this get any worse?" I said, of course it could. At that moment Conner got a text on his phone "It's Bill, he says that our other hostage has finally agreed to cooperate" said Conner as he walked over to the door. "Carly!" I said hopefully. Conner nodded "He's bringing her in now, she's been very uncooperative but now that she's calmed down we can finally take off" Conner said."Exacly were to?" I asked. "California of course" Paul said putting on a pair of sun glasses.

At that moment the plane door opened to reveal a large buff guy with black hair and blue eyes. Behind him was "Oh great" Sam, and I\ muttered at the same time. "What are you doing here!" we both shouted at the same time. "I asked you first!" we both shouted again. "No I asked you First, stop copying me!"we both shouted again. "God you two sound like an old married couple!" Connie complained. "Shut up!" we both yelled again. "Wow you and your girlfriend should really work on your relationship issues" Conner suggested to me. "Eww We're not dating!" both Sam and I said at the same time. "I thought you said Carly was your girlfriend" Paul said confused. "She is definitely not Carly" I said earning a slap on the arm from Sam. "That's what I've been trying to say, I am Sam!" Sam announced pulling off the blond wig she was wearing for unnone reasons.

Conner, Paul and Bill all gasped "Oh My God ,Carly's not blond!" Bill shouted. "This was so unexpected" Paul said shaking his head. "She's not Carly!" I shouted at the same time Sam shouted, "I'm not Carly!". "Stop doing that!" we both complained again. "Alright listen, we know what you're doing, your just pretending that she's not Carly so we'll let your girlfriend go, well we're not falling for it, we're not that dumb" Conner proclaimed. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yes I'm sure! now sit down all of you the plane's about to take off, I'll tell you what I'll even let you sit next to your girlfriend" Conner said as he handcuffed Sam to the seat next to me. "She's not my girlfriend" I complained. "Just be quiet!" Conner scolded. After everyone sat down the plane took off. "So, do you work out?" Connie asked Bill. Sam and I groaned, "This is going to be a long flight" we both said. "Stop doing that!"

**-one Long Plane Ride Later-**

After a long, long, long plane ride and a long, long car ride the three kidnappers, and the three kidnapees arrived at a small rundown abandoned building in the middle of nowhere California. "Nice place you got here" I said sarcastically. "Thanks" Paul gushed. Someone needed a lesson in sarcasm. Once we were inside the building, which was much larger than it looked and consisted of many winding hallways and locked doors that made it look like a prison,Sam, Connie, and I were all thrown in a cell with numerous locks, including a keypad. "Can't we get our own cells" I complained. "No!" Bill said blandly. "All I'm saying is putting me in a cell with those two is not safe for anyone" I replied as they locked the cell door.

"Our boss will be here to see you in a moment" Paul said. "Right and who is this boss" Sam asked. "None other than Jerry Jax" Paul said proudly. "Wow his goons have gotten a lot less intimidating over the years" Sam replied. Paul scowled "I'd be nicer if I were you, now here why don't you call your family and make sure they don't worry, or look for you" Paul said handing us all cell phones. "And remember we're right here and if anyone says something suspicious or hints that you were kidnapped we'll shoot them" Conner said. "Right got it" I said nodding. "And you only get one call each, so make it count" added Bill. "gotcha" Sam said. She then grabbed my arm and whispered "I'm going to try to get a message across to John about where we are just say what I say" she said. "Got it" I said as I dialed Carly's number.

I listened to what Sam said about seaweed and teens and Looney toons ( or at least that's what I heard ). I repeated it all to Carly and then smirked when John stupidly asked where Sam was and the goons grabbed Sam and threw her phone. I noticed Connie's call ended quickly and once she returned her phone the goons told me to "hurry up". "Yah yah I got it" I said. I said my goodbyes to Carly and then hung up. "What was that?" Sam asked me. "That Sam, was a phone call" I replied. "I mean why didn't you say anything useful! all you did was talk about seaweed and Lonney Toons! I told you to repeat exactly what I say!" Sam yelled. "I did" I replied. "No I said kelp as in HELP and kids nap as in KIDNAPPED!" Sam corrected him. "Well you should have been clearer" I pointed out. "UH! do you realize I just wasted what might be my last words to John trying to tell him where we are and how we were kidnapped while you did nothing but chat with Carly! I might never see him again, I didn't even get to say goodbye" Sam said. She looked on the verge of tears and I couldn't help but feel bad.

"Hey everythings going to be okay Your going to see John again I have no idea why you'd want to see him though, he's kind of a downer" I said trying to comfort her. "I thinks that's just around you" Sam said smiling. "Yah well we don't exactly get along" I replied. "Yah you could say that" Sam said smiling. I was about to reply when the cell door opened to reveal Jerry Jax. "Well, what do we have here?"

**Hope you guys liked it, Don't forget to review!**


	6. The Chicken Boy

**A/N Hey everyone we decided to update early again. Thanks for all the great reviews we love all our fans! Hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to review!**

**SAM'S POV**

The moment Jerry walked in I could tell something was up. He seem surprised to see the three of us and I couldn't help but smirk. "You know Jerry I know times are tough but next time you might want to hire some guys who actually have brains and know who to kidnap" I said smirking. "Ah sweet Sam, a pleasure as always" Jerry said in his annoying Australian accent. "Sam, sweet?" Todd said smirking and acting as if the thought I could be sweet was a joke. I glared at him and he shut up immediately. "Oh and Mr. Manning nice to see you again as well" Jerry said acknowledging Todd's presence. "Great to see you too, although I must agree with "Sweet Sam" next time you kidnap someone you might want to get some smarter guys, not that I have anything against dumb people, but still because of their mistakes I am now in a cell with "Sweet Sam" Morgan and Connie Mcflirts~ a~ lot Falconeri so if you want I can lend you some guys, as a matter of fact I have Smithy on speed dial, you remember him right Mcflirts~ a~ lot, tell you what I can call him right now and he can come down with some of my other guys and a whole bunch of cash in exchange for my freedom" Todd tried.

Jerry laughed "I like your enthusiasm Mr. Manning, but I'm afraid no one is leaving" he stated. "Come on how much do you want 1, 2 million? Hey I'll give you 4 if you promise to never let Connie go" Todd proposed. "Hey!" Connie protested slapping Todd's arm. "Ah yes and Mrs. Falconeri, I'm afraid we haven't officially met I am~" "Yah yah I know who you are, so are you single?" Connie said cutting Jerry off. Todd and I groaned while Jerry chuckled "Yes well we can talk about that later we have more pressing matters at the moment" Jerry replied. "You are so right we need some new knick names I mean "Sweet Sam? She might have been sweet you met her but she's kind of cranky now how about sinister Sam, crazy Connie, and free Todd" Todd suggested, he really needed to learn to quit while he was behind. "While I do agree with you on the name changes Mr. Manning I feel I should let you know no one will be leaving here".

~10 minutes later~

"Ugh we've been here like forever!" complained Todd. I roled my eyes "Todd we've only been here like 10 minutes" I corrrected him. Afrter Jerry gave us a long speech about not leaving and his evil plan he let us be. "How would you know there's no clock in here it could have been weeks already!UH I might have missed the appointment with my hair dresser!" Connie stated. "Hopefully not, you really need the appointment" Todd said. Connie rolled her eyes "If you don't shut up soon Manning your going to need a doctor's appointment!" Connie shot back. "What are you going to do hit me with your new invisible prada purse boyfriend?" Todd asked. Connie was about to charge at Todd but I grabbed her arm. "Can you two just stop it already?" I asked. "Why are you so calm, I thought you'd be crying about how much you miss Your precous John Mcbain by now, Sweet Sam" Todd said. "Don't call me that!" I ordered him. "Do you prefer Sinister Sam" he questioned. "I prefer not to be locked in a cell with the two most annoying people in the world, but sadly I'm going to have to deal with it for now" I replied. "Your boyfriend isn't in here with us" Todd responded sarcastically. "Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean by "for now", do you have some escape plan, 'cause I want in" Connie pestered. "I don't need an escape plan, John's going to save us, well at least he's going to save me" I said smirking.

"Oh please, we have a better chance of Barney the dinasouar saving us then your useless boyfriend" Todd replied. I was about to reply when there was a loud echo "Hello Mrs. Falconeri I have your Fried chicken order from The Cluck Barn" said a young male voice. Todd and I both looked at Connie who looked relived "Finally!" she whined. when we continued to stare at her she said "What, I'm hungry". "Come in" Connie yelled. I heard the door open then close and the sound of footsteps walking twords us. "Connie when did you order fried chicken?" I asked her calmly. "Well...

**(Flashback in Connie's POV)**

Buff Guy #2 handed me a phone and I couldn't think of anyone to call. All I could think about was the fact I was really hungry. So I called the one person who's number I knew by heart, and who I knew would pick up. "Hey Ed" I answered. "Hey Connie what's up" Answered Ed, my favorite chicken delivery boy. "I'll tell you what's up, I'm starving!" I complained. "Alright the usual to your office?" he asked. "No, I'm feeling really hungry, so I'll need a fifty piece meal with mashed potatoes, hold the gravy, and an order of biscuits, I'll also take a XXXXXXL Coke with one of those bendy straws, oh and one of those fudge cakes alright and Ed DON'T FORGET THE DIPPING SAUCE!" I ordered. "Alright were should I send it to?" he asked. "I'm in California the address is 432-78 Ferrell avenue" I remembered. "Okay I'm going to have to call one of our restruants in California so the food get's there before next week, so I wont be delivering it myself" Ed said. "You disappoint me ED, but I'll take what I can get" I replied. "Alright I'll talk to you later" he said. "Oh, and Ed" I said before he could hang up. "Yes Mrs. Falconeri?" he asked. "DON'T FORGET THE DIPPING SAUCE!" I yelled and with that I hung up.

**(Back To Sam)**

"So let me get this straight you used your only call to order chicken from some low ranking fast food place?" Todd questioned. Connie nodded. "Genius" Todd replied, and at that moment a teenage boy walked into the room holding a large bag of food and a jug of soda as big as a bathtub. "UH Your order Mrs. Falconeri he said handing her the food in between the cell bars. "Thank you Willas" Connie said reading his name tag. "That will be $382.15" he said handing her the bill. "Todd" she said. "Connie" he replied. "Pay the boy!" she ordered him. "No you pay him" Todd shot back. "No you!". "No you!". Todd and Connie continued fighting over who was paying the bill while I actually focused on something important. "Hello Willas, hey would you mind letting us, or better yet just me out?" I asked him sweetly. "Uh why are you in a cell?" he asked. "Because we were kidnaped by a cico, and you need to let us out, now before he comes back" I ordered him. "If you were kidnapped, then why did you order chicken?" he asked. "Because I was kidnaped along with a bunch of idiots, now please let us out!" I ordered him. "Uh o.. okay" he said nervously looking around for the keys. I groaned "Uh this is taking to long, give me your phone so I can call the cops" I said. he nodded and began digging for a phone in his pocket.

"Fine!" Todd shouted behind me as he pulled out some cash. He was about to hand it to the boy, who was still looking for his phone, when Connie shouted "STOP!". we all froze and looked at her. "Do NOT PAY THAT BOY A DIME! WHERE'S THE DIPPING SAUCE" she yelled. "Uh forget the stupid chicken we need to get out of here" I ordered. "Sam's right we need to get out of here, do you have a phone" Todd asked Willas. "Got it!" he yelled pulling a black I phone out of his pocket. He was about to hand it to me when I heard two loud bangs. I watched as Willas fall to the ground with blood pouring from a gun shot wound. I probably would have been hit with the second bullet if Todd hadn't pushed me out of the way. "Thanks" I muttered to him as I slowly stood up. "No problem" he replied, standing up as well. We looked over to find Connie weeping over a bucket of chicken with a bullet hole through it. "You shot the chicken Boy!" she yelled at Jerry who stood over Willas with a gun. "That's just cold" she continued. "I don't distinctly remember giving permission for you to order food" Jerry said. "And from what I've been told Samantha has already given our location to her beloved detective McBain, so the question remains, what am I going to do with you?"

**Hope you guys liked it. We will try to update soon. What do you think Jerry's going to do to them? Find out soon, and don't forget to review!**


	7. The Chicken Mystery

**A/N Hey everyone! Thanks for all the great reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter, It is dedicated to chicken boy. Don't forget to review! By the way we will not be updating on Tuesday because it's my Birthday!**

**John POV**

"Carly, I'm going to say this as kindly as possible, SHUTUP!" I yelled, tired of Carly's nervous rambling. It was the day after we had gotten our calls. "Well that was rude!" Carly said acting hurt. "Listen, I'm waiting for a call from Nate." I said calmly. "Nate?" Carly started "I've been with almost every guy in this town, and I don't remember anyone named Nate." "Nate is my old friend from FBI training. He works down in California. I gave him the address, and he's gonna check it out." I explained. "BLAH ,Blah, Blah! What I want to know is, is this Nate friend of yours hot." She said with a devilish smile. "Carly, Todd" I said reminding her that she had a boyfriend. "Oh my god, I was just joking." Carly defended rolling her eyes.

I was about to tell Carly to just calm down and take a seat, but my phone rang. "That must be Nate." Carly nodded in agreement. "Hello" I said answering the phone. "Yeah John, its me Dante we're gonna need you down here at Cluck barn. There's been calls of a shooting and we have an idea that it has something to do with the kidnappings." I looked over at Carly who was examining my Fridge for food. "Okay we'll be right there." I said hanging up. "Are you hungry, Cause we're going to the Cluck barn." I said walking over to her. "Okay, I know you're on a budget, working at the police station, but The Cluck Barn, really?" She asked in disgust. "One, I make pretty good money, which you can tell by looking at this house. And Two, We are not eating there, there's some information involving the kidnapping." I explained. Me and Sam brought a nice house pretty close to Carly's (that's the down side). It took a lot of saving up, but it was worth it. There's 4 rooms, so we all have are own. It even has a backyard with a pool. "Well John, I think we both know that Sam's job paid for this house. And, dibs on driving." She said running out the door.

"John over here!" Dante yelled. Carly and I walked over. I showed my badge to the officer keeping the crowd away. There was blood all over the counter. "EWWWWW!" Carly yelled backing away from the counter. She tripped and luckily I caught her. We stared at each other for a second. I had never noticed that Carly had really pretty eyes. "Eh hem, detective if you could follow me." Anna said, causing Carly to jump out of my arms. "Sorry commissioner" I replied as Carly and I followed her to a small room in the back. There was a scrawny guy with a tag that said manager who was shaking in his sheet. I looked over at Anna. "Witness." She whispered.

"Alright so what's going on here?" I asked. "Yesterday afternoon there was an order placed here from California by Connie Falconeri" Anna explained. I nodded as she continued "Edward Moon received this call and placed an order to be delivered to Connie at the address Sam gave you for where they were being held" Anna continued. "What does this have to do with Todd?" Carly asked anxiously. "I was getting to that, anyway a few hours after the call was received and the order was placed a man arrived at this restaurant and shot Edward, who is now in the hospital in critical condition. Around the same time the young man who was sent to deliver the order to Connie in California was found shot and dead at the place the order was to be sent, the building he was in was empty, although DNA from both Sam, Todd, and Connie was found" Anna finished. "Great" I muttered running a hand through my hair. "Was there any of Jax's DNA." I asked pacing back and forward. "NO, so that lead is obviously gone. Maybe when Sam said Tom and Jerry, she meant the actual JERRY." I stopped pacing and looked at Anna, and then Carly. "This is bad. Do you know what Jerry Jax is capable of?" Carly yelled. "I learned that when bomb control put me on hold." I Yelled frustrated. "So what your telling me is our one lead is gone, and now we find out Jerry has them. The worst part is this all happened yesterday. Jerry and them could be out of the country by now!" I complained.

"John you have to calm down, where doing everything we can to find them" Anna said trying to calm me down. I managed to get my anger under control, but Carly on the other hand did the opposite "Well your best isn't enough! Todd's out there somewhere being held by some cico, his life is on the line, and you managed to ruin the one chance we had of finding him! He could be dead for all we know, so let me tell you what ever your doing isn't working you have to try harder, search harder and you have to find him!" she yelled. "Mrs. Jax I~" Anna started but was cut off when Carly said "No don't say that just find him, you have to find him!" she yelled. At this point I decided I should step in, "Hey Carly you need to calm down alright" I said to her calmly. "No John I wont calm down, you don't understand!" She yelled. I shook my head "Yah I do Carly, I do understand, but we're find them alright, Sam and Todd" I replied. "You don't understand" she repeated quietly. I was about to reply when I received a phone call. "Excuse me" I said stepping aside and answering my phone "John McBain".

"Hey John, it's Alexis I'm just calling for an update on the situation with Sam" Alexis answered. "And Todd" I heard Maxie shout in the background. I rolled my eyes at the memory of last night...

**(Yesterday Night at Alexis' house)**

After receiving the call and doing my best to locate Sam I decided to go to Alexis' house and tell everyone the news. Sam and I had been invited to go to dinner at their house that night for a small get together."John, nice to see you please come in" Alexis greeted me. "Thank you" I replied entering the house and making my way to the dining room, where I found everyone seated. "Where's Sam" Maxie asked immediately. I sighed, "I'm sorry but the reason I'm here is to tell you all that Sam and Todd Manning have been kidnapped" I said. Everyone gasped and burst into question mode. "Wait a second so is that why Carly didn't come because I was really hoping it was because she finally realized no one likes her here" Patrick said. "Carly's staying with the boys right now" I answered. "Wait John are you serious Todd's gone!" Maxie said. I nodded "Yes and so is Sam" I repeated. "This can not be happening!" Maxie complained. "Since when do you care so much about Todd" Kristina questioned. "Are you kidding he's the reason I now live in my own apartment with out a real job at Crimson!" Maxie replied. "How?" Robin questioned. "He pays me not to annoy him" Maxie replied. "Oh my god you too!" Patrick said in return. "This is horrible Todd was going to get me a free subscription to the Sun" Mac complained. "And he was going to give me and Rafe internships" Molly added. "He was going to get me a puppy!" Kristina yelled. "I want a puppy!" Maxie complained. "Me too" Molly added. "I have been wanting a dog" Patrick said. "But we can't get puppies because Todd's gone" Kristina said. "No it can't be, you have to find him John I don't want to be poor, I just can't!" Maxie complained. "Yah, what are you doing to find Todd?" asked Molly. "Yah WE WANT TODD! WE WANT TODD!" Maxie chanted, and pretty soon the majority of the people at the table chanted it as well. "DO NONE OF YOU CARE SAM WAS KIDNAPPED TO I THOUGHT YOU WERE HER FAMILY!" I yelled after 10 more seconds of "we want Todd". The room went silent "Sam's missing" Maxie said as if it was the first she'd heard of this. I nodded. "Why didn't you tell us John" Kristina asked. I was speechless. "Oh my god when did this happen?" Molly asked. "How much do you know?" Patrick asked. "Do you know where she is?" Kristina asked. "WHERE'S TODD!" Maxie yelled. And after that I spent the rest of my night answering questions and explaining over and over again that Sam was gone.

**(Present time)**

"Listen Alexis I got some bad news, the police went to the address Sam gave me in California, and they were gone, but Sam was definitely there" I informed her. "What about Todd!" I heard Kristina yell in the background. "Todd was there too, but like I said, there gone" I answered. "Oh that's horrible." She said obviously upset. "And to make it worst, Connie and Jerry kidnapped them, not Connie and Jax." I said. "About that, I don't think Connie was the kidnapper. I think she was one of the kid nappies. I mean lately she has been acting kinder. And she even agreed to get, and got, integrated. It turned out Kate was the alter. Ever since then, I don't know I just don't see her kidnapping them." Alexis said sounding sure. I thought about what she had said. I guess I just wanted to point fingers, not thinking about the facts. "You're right, thanks Alexis. And don't worry we will get Sam back." I said with hope. "What about Todd?" I heard Kristina, Molly, and Maxie holler in the back. "Todd too"I turned the phone off. "Come on Carly." I said walking towards the door. "Call me if you find anything about the shooting or kidnapping." I instructed Anna. I then turned around and walked out of the room Carly trailing behind me. When we got to the car, I looked around. I had a strange feeling. Just then I got another phone call. "Hello." I answered. Carly who was next to me started saying "I'm John and I'm answering the phone for the millionth time." I whispered cut it. "John its Nate. Got nothing but a body, but I found a brochure for some resort. I think that's where you can find your girl." He said. "Thanks send me the address to the resort." I hung up and turned to Carly "I got a plan".

"You're Plan really sucked." Carly said as we sat in Todd's overcrowded Private Jet. The Davis/Scorpio family, Starr, Michael, TJ, Rafe, A.J,Spinelli and Dante were all squished on a plane with us. Lets just say, its a long story

**FLASH BACK (JOHN POV)**

"Hey John, and ugh Carly" Maxie said Opening the door to the Davis/Scropio house. (ALexis kept her last name.) "Hey Maxie, what are you doing here?" I asked as we stepped inside. "The whole family is here. Even Michael and Starr. Sadly those two brought A.j." With the mention of AJ Carly turned around and started walking towards the door, but I grabbed her arm. "Come on." I said pulling her along. "I don't want to see AJ!" Carly yelled trying to escape my grasp. "What is everyone doing here anyway?" I asked as we followed Maxie to the kitchen, where everyone was. " We're having a 'save Todd' meeting. We meet and talk about ways to save todd. Micheal and Aj are using some ELQ funds, to supply T-shirts, mugs, and snacks, including Lilas relish." She said with a smile. "Its great that you guys are supporting Sam and Todd, maybe one one of your ideas will help save them". "Anyway about plans I have one, that's why I'm here." I said with a smile. "Wait!" She yelled stopping. "Whats wrong?" I asked. "Sam's kidnapped?" She said surprised. I sighed and found my way into the kitchen leaving Maxie standing there confused. "HI JOHN!" They all chorused. "Hey guys I have great news, I have a plan , me an-" I was cut off. "You got a plan?" Maxie who had just came in said. "I noticed Carly was still in the living room not wanting to see A.J. "He's got a plan!" Kristina yelled. "TO SAVE TODD! HE'S GOT A PLAN! HE'S GOT A PLAN!" Patrick yelled jumping up and down. "Guys calm down!" Robin yelled, hitting Patrick on the arm. "I know I have a plan to save Sam and Todd and Connie." I said smiling proud. "Wait! Sams kidnapped!" Everyone except Alexis yelled. "Its gonna be a long day." I muttered.

After explaining once again, the kidnapping situation, I shared my plan. "Okay,me, Carly, and Dante are going to fly to California, and pull a surprise on Jerry. I'll handle Jerry while Dante and Carly get Sam, Todd, and Connie. Fom there we'll have to take a car and drive back, because we can't afford the tickets for so many people." I once again smiled proudly, but my smile faded when Maxie yelled, "Your plan Sucks with a capital sucks!" Everyone nodded in agreement. "John, you cant just have three people, especially when one is Carly. You need way more backup." "Jerry probably has a ton of goons lined up waiting for you to show." Alexis started. "That's why me and Mac are coming." She demanded. "Ale-" I started but she cut me off "John, you are nothing but a boyfriend to Sam. I'm her mother and Mac's her step-father. WE ARE COMING! She once again demanded. knowing I wouldn't win this fight, I said fine. " Okay we will go pack our bags." everyone else in the room said. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, no. I'm not letting anyone else come. This is dangerous, its not like one of your little meetings." I said. "John, save it. Me, Molly, Kristina, and Robin are Sam's sisters, whether by blood or not, we love her. And we are going to be there to save her and Todd. We are not kids anymore. I mean come on, I have gone through a ton, and survived it all. Molly already saved Sam once, when she let you, Lucy and , Rafe out of jail. You seemed to think she was old enough then. Robin got out of Sweeten prison. Kristina was ready to kill Crazy Connie. John we are ready. Plus, Starr is Todds daughter, micheal is Starrs boyfriend, and A.j is his dad, who is by the way crazy enough to shoot his dad in the back, so he can kill some goons. Oh an T.J. has to come cause he is Mollys boyfriend who knows how to steal a car or two. And Rafe is cute so he has to come. Did I get everyone? Oh wait Patrick. He can stay. Everyone besides him is going though." Maxie ordered ,Everyone nodded in agreement. "I obviously couldn't win so I said the stupidest thing ever. "Lets do this! And Patrick you can come!"

**End Of Flashbacks **

So as I sat on Todds crowded jet, I thought of all the things I could of said instead of those stupid three words, like "NO!NO!NO!" But now it was too late.


	8. Escaping

**Hey Gh fans! Thanks again for all the amazing reviews! Sorry we haven't updated in so long but it was my birthday week. Hope you like this chapter, don't forget to review, Also be sure to check out our new General Hospital story The Hostages Ball.**

**Todd's POV**

"5000 bottles of milk on the wall, oh 5000 bottles of milk! you take one down pass it around and~". "STOP IT, JUST STOP IT!" I yelled interrupting Connie's 5000th verse of the song. "Someone's grouchy" Connie complained. "Well maybe I wouldn't be so grouchy if I wasn't in a truck with the world's worst singing altar for 5 hours while we're being driven to our death!" I shouted.

"Hey I've told you a million times Manning, I'm not the altar Kate is" Connie corrected me. "I don't care who the altar is, all I know is both of you better shut up!" I said silencing her, if only that had lasted. "Todd" Connie whispered. "What?" I said annoyed. "Are we there yet?" she asked. " Well considering the truck is still moving I'm going to go with no" I answered. "Okay" she replied. "Todd". "What?". "Are we there yet?". "Stop asking me that!".

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Sam now would be a really nice time for you to wake up!" I said.

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Sam!" I complained.

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Sam!" I yelled at the exact same moment Sam burst awake. "What happened?" she asked. "Well aside from the altars version of High School Musical and the round of 20,000 questions we are now being carted off to our death because of Connie's big mouth!" I informed her. "This is not my fault!" Connie defended. "Oh yes it is!"

**(Flashback)**

"What am I going to do with you?" Jerry said. "You could let us go, and by us I mean me" I suggested. "I'm afraid that is not an option Mr. Manning" Jerry replied in his funny accent. "Not even for a bucket of chicken with a bullet hole in it?" I offered. "Hey this is my chicken you don't get to give it away!" Connie said. "Well I almost paid for it before you freaked out because of a missing condiment!" I yelled back. "I told him 3 TIMES, DON'T FORGET THE DIPING SAUCE, AND WHAT DO THEY DO, THEY FORGET THE DIPING SAUCE, DID YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO PAY THEM?" Connie questioned. "Yes, but you weren't going to anyway you wanted me to pay them and now chicken boy's dead and it's all your fault!" I yelled at her. "It is not my fault!" She defended.

"All I'm saying is I'm not the one who called for a chicken delivery in the middle of a kidnapping!" I replied. "IT IS NOT MY FAULT!" Connie screamed. "I~". "Please enough you can argue all you want later right now I'm trying to figure out where to move you" Jerry said interrupting me. Connie laughed as she walked up to Jerry "Listen Jer I think we all know what's going to happen. I placed a call to that chicken place and now little chicken boy over there is dead. When they realize he's missing they're going to come here find out what happened and know I was kidnapped. So, why don't you just quit while your ahead, and we can dump Sam and Mr. Blames~A~Lot back in Port Charles while you buy me a new bucket of chicken" Connie suggested putting a hand on Jerry's shoulder.

"I hate to admit this, but Mrs. Falconeri's right" Jerry said sighing. "She is!" Both me and Sam shouted shocked. "I mean, she is" I said walking twords the door. Jerry stopped me "Yes, she is I can no longer keep you, so I'll have to dispose of you" Jerry said his evil funny laughter the last thing Todd heard as he was hit over the head and blanked out.

**(Present) **

"Alright so Connie's stupidity got us a death sentence, why can't I remember any of this?" Sam questioned. " 'cuz after Jer Jer decided to off us he hit Todd over the head with his gun and gave you some of that sleepy forgety stuff" Connie attempted to explain. "Rightttttttttt" Sam said shaking her head. "Okay so now that we're all caught up, Todd are we there yet?" Connie asked. I rolled my eyes "Uh can't you take a nap or something I complained. "Good Idea Todd" Connie said lying back and closing her eyes. 5 seconds of silence later Connie said "Todd". "Do you enjoy torturing me?" I questioned. "Well I would fall asleep faster with a lullaby" Connie suggested. "Fine" I said sighing

_Twinkle Twinkle Little Star _

_I'm Going To throw you out of this car _

_If you do not close your eyes_

_shut your mouth or you will die_

_Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_

_Why is our death place so far?_

After that Connie was suddenly very quiet. "God, I never thought I'd say this, but thank you Todd" Sam said enjoying the Connie-free silence. "Your wel~" I was cut off when the car suddenly stopped throwing Sam on me, and practically throwing Connie out the window. "What the, Todd! you tried to throw me out the window, I knew that song wasn't fiction!" Connie accused as she woke up to find her body outside the car window. "What! I! Me! Sam did it!" I accused ."What no I didn't" Sam said quickly moving over to help get Connie's head unstuck. "What ever helps you sleep at night" I muttered.

"Excuse me!" she replied leaving Connie stuck in the window. "Well, it wasn't me" I defended. "Yah, but I didn't~" I cut her off by saying "You see Connie she admitted it she tried to throw you out the window but your big head wouldn't fit, then again we shouldn't be surprised by that, I mean with all the personalities milling around in there I'm surprised your still able to hold your head above your shoulders" I reasoned. "Todd I'm going to~" before Connie could finish her threat the truck door opened.

"What's going on here?" asked Conner. "Oh we're just having a tea party sorry, you weren't invited" I said sarcastically. "What!" he yelled sounding truly offended. "What's going on with the truck?" Sam questioned. "Help me" Connie wailed, no one paid attention to her though. "We're having mechanical difficulties" he replied. "Help me!". "You ran out of gas, didn't you" I reasoned. "Maybe" he replied looking embarrassed.

"Help me" Connie continued screaming. "Hey Conner, say would you mind talking these tight handcuffs off they're so bad for your skin" Sam said smiling. "Uh sure" he replied walking over to Sam and uncuffing her. "Thank you so much" she said sweetly. "Help!" Connie yelled once again. She just doesn't give up does she?

"Now why don't you go help Connie out?" Sam suggested. Conner nodded and exited the vehicle locking the doors before going to pull out Connie. "Thanks Sam, it's nice to know you care" Connie said smirking. "Don't thank me yet" Sam replied pulling out a pair of keys and unlocking the door. "Hey were did you get those?" I questioned. "Were do you think?" she said preparing to leave. "Hey, aren't you going to let me out?" I asked. "Why should I?" she countered. "Sam". "Todd". "I'll buy you a puppy" I offered.

"Hmmmmm" she said pretending to think about it. "I'll buy you a puppy farm, just let me out!" I begged. "Fine" she said sighing and undoing my handcuffs. "What about me?" Connie asked. "Here" I said throwing her the keys. "Todd, Todd, Todddddddddd!" she yelled as Sam and I left the truck with Connie still stuck in the window. "Maybe we should help her" Sam said stopping. "Sam, if we go back to help her we'll get caught, and the only person that will help, is Jerry so, let's go" I said. "Alright" she muttered turning to follow me. "Not so fast"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Hey everyone, sorry it took so long to update. Hope you like this chapter, don't forget to review!:)**

**Carly POV**

"I hate you John" I muttered as we sat on Todd's overcrowded private jet. If it weren't for the leather reclining seats, giant flat screen T.V, fully stocked bar, and hot tub(who knew that planes had those?) I probably would have died by now.

"I know, I know" he replied. Honestly, I don't know how Sam has survived this long with her horrible boyfriend and her crazy family that doesn't know when to shut up.

"Ohhhh 1000 bottles of milk on the wall 1000 bottles of milk. You take one down, pass it around, and drink it all till the milk runs out!" sang everyone excluding John and I. Even Aj sang along just to annoy me, but we would be over international waters soon so I could just shove him out of the emergency exit. No one would miss him anyway.

"Wait! Where's Maxie, her solo's coming up" asked Kristina, looking around as if Maxie might be under the couch or hiding in the hot tub.

"She went to the front of the plane to go hit on the pilot" Robin explained.

"I'll go check on her" John volunteered, eager to escape from the glee club we'd been stuck with for the past hour.

"I'm coming too" I immediately said, just as eager to escape.

"Carly, you"

"It wasn't a request John" I reminded him before he could complain.

As we entered the small room were the pilot flew the plane I was completely shocked to see Maxie was the one flying the plane.

"Wee, weee, this is so much fun!" she sang as if she were playing some mindless video game rather than flying a plane filled with a ton of annoying people and me.

"Maxie what are you doing!" I asked outraged. I quickly held on to the door frame in case Maxie accidentally crashed us in to a cloud or a pack of flying geese.

"Hi guys! This is so fun, who wants a turn" she offered.

"Why are you flying the plane, eyes on the sky!" John ordered as Maxie turned around to look at us.

"Oh, well I came up here to talk with our hot pilot and he was all like 'hey want to try' and I was all like 'duh' and now, I'm flying the plane!" Maxie explained excitedly.

"Wow Carly your boyfriend doesn't even know how to pick employees, I mean this crazy pilot let Maxie fly the plane, Maxie!" John said.

"Todd was right, you do blame him for everything" I muttered.

John rolled his eyes and replied, "well I'll stop blaming him when he stops doing bad things"

"Well, Todd didn't tell Maxie and the rest of Sam's crazy family to come with us" I shot back.

"We can hear you" I heard Patrick yell from the other room.

"Oh and Patrick, you let Patrick come! Honestly John and you have the nerve to call our pilot crazy!" I pointed out.

"OH burn, wait a second what I do?" asked Patrick.

"Stay out of this Patrick! And also why would you let Aj come? I would have pushed him out of the plane already if his head wasn't so big! Basically, this is all your fault John!" I summed it up.

"My fault, my fault!" he said as if the words were a foreign concept to him.

"Do I have to repeat it slower?" I questioned.

"Guys stop. I can't bear watching you two fight like this" Said Maxie as she stood beside us.

"Maxie!" Everyone yelled as we turned to see no one was steering the plane.

Everyone began screaming and I silently prayed that I didn't end up dying in some terrible plane wreck with the most annoying people in the world. Was there no mercy?

After a few seconds the screams died down when everyone realized the plane wasn't falling out of the sky. "What's going on here?" asked a tall dark-haired man as he stepped out of the restroom.

"Teddy!" Maxie yelled excitedly when she saw the man.

"Uh, who are you?" I asked.

"He's Teddy" Maxie said rolling her eyes as if that were obvious.

"I'm the pilot" Teddy explained, "My name is Theodore Smith"

"So you're the idiot who let Maxie fly the plane?" I questioned.

"Is that what all the screaming was about? It was on auto pilot" he explained. Everyone sighed with relief.

"Thank God" Said Robin.

"Don't worry, the gas thingy is even on 'E' for extra full. Luckily it's not 'F' for failing." Maxie said happily before skipping away to the hot tub.

"Teddy." John said.

"Yah." He said while fidgeting with the buttons.

"You're an idiot! Did they teach you to allow all blondes alone at the wheel, or only the hot ones?" John asked sarcastically.

"But..But it was on auto pilot and I could have sworn the gas tank was full. Its okay though, I have an extra tank in the back. We can make a quick pit stop." He said smiling.

"Go get it!" John ordered. "Can you believe this." He asked me.

"Yep and I bet somehow this was all Todd." I joked.

"It was!" He yelled. "What's taking so long?"

"I'll go check." I sighed. I made a beeline for the back of the plane to find Patrick and Kristina debating about where to put the pilot's body. Wait a second, "What happened!" I shrieked.

"Weeeeeelllll" Patrick started. "I was trying to help the pilot get the gas tank, which was up high. I grabbed it and when I turned around to give it to him, I accidently wacked him on the head with it."

"YOU DID WHAT!" I screamed.

" But!" He yelled holding his hands out defensively. "He wasn't knocked out until I gave the gas tank to Kristina so I could help Teddy up, and She dropped it on his head."

"It was your fault for giving me it." She yelled.

"You offered!"

"I didn't think you would accept!"

"What did you expect!"

"Oh my god. Drop it!" I yelled, triggering Patrick to drop the gas tank on Teddy, again. "Not the tank!" I yelled just as John ran over to us.

"What's wrong? Where's the pilot?" He asked, unable to see Teddy who was passed out on the ground behind Patrick and Kristina.

"Weeeeeelllll There was an accident." I started.

"What happened, did Teddy drop the tank or something?"

"Well actually, the tank dropped him" I explained.

"What are you talking about, just get to the point" he said anxiously.

"Well, let's just say that these two knuckleheads, who YOU let on the plane decided to play whack the pilot!" I yelled moving over, as well as Kristina and Patrick, to show Teddy's lifeless body.

"Oh my God, this is not good is he still breathing?" John quickly asked.

"I don't know I'm not the doctor!" I said looking at Patrick who quickly knelt next to Teddy to check his pulse.

"Don't worry, he's still breathing" Patrick announced.

Everyone sighed with relief but before we could celebrate we were interrupted by Aj. "Sorry guys I really hate to interrupt, but the plane is beeping, something about auto pilot disengaging, and Maxie says that E is for extra full, but I'm having some doubts, and has anyone seen the pilot?" Aj rambled.

We all stepped aside to show Aj the pilot who was knocked out cold. "Oh great, Carly what'd you do!" Aj accused.

I sent him a warning look before saying, "I am this close to throwing you out of this plane!"

Before he could reply we heard screaming and followed the noise to see Maxie was once again flying the plane. "Guys! I think the auto pilots off, somebody fix it, like now!" She screamed nervously.

"Relax alright, does anyone have experienced flying planes" John asked sending everyone in to a panic.

"I'm too young to die!" complained Tj as he, along with everyone else, hastily put on their seatbelts and held on to the arm rest for dear life.

"What's going on?" asked Starr as her and Michael arrived from the hot tub.

"Maxie said something about an extra full tank and auto pilot?" Michael asked.

"Michael Corinthos III put your seatbelt on right now young man! Don't make me count!" I warned.

"Mom stop it! Your embarrassing me in front of Starr!" he whined, like that would stop me.

"Uh! Starr put your seat belt on right now young lady! You know better, I expect this much from Michael but you!" I scolded her.

"yes mam, sorry Michael's a bad influence on me" she joked as her and Michael quickly sat down and put on their seatbelts.

"Alright, would either of you happen to know how to fly a plane?" I asked.

"Why?" Starr questioned.

"Oh nothing, Molly your smart get in here!" I ordered the girl to were John and Maxie were trying to fly the plane while Kristina and Patrick pressed the 'assistance' button.

"What happened!" Molly asked immediately.

"I'm not going to lie, John knocked out the pilot and the plane's running out of gas!" I explained.

"What! Carly I did not knock out the pilot, as far as I know it was you!" John accused me as he left Maxie and Molly trying to figure out the many buttons on the control panels.

"I thought it was us" Patrick whispered to Kristina who shrugged and mumbled, "I think they've lost it"

"Oh please John, just like you to point fingers at everyone but yourself! Why don't you just go back to flying the stupid plane!" at that moment the plane dropped and everyone began to scream as we fell out of the sky.

**GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG HGHGHGHGHGHGH**

"Is everyone okay?" I asked as I slowly stood up and looked around.

"Yeah" a few people mumbled while others just nodded.

"OH No! Guys, our luggage is ruined! This was Prada!" Maxie complained. We all turned to see the compartment that held our suitcases had opened and spilled out in to the hot tub.

"What! My favorite suit was in there, and it's dry clean only!" shouted Aj as he raced over to pull his bag out of the water.

"At least something good came out of this" I mumbled.

"What happened are we in California?" asked Alexis as she suddenly woke up. Honestly, who could sleep through all that?

"I didn't do it!" Mac shouted as he woke from his slumber.

" How did you guys sleep through all that?" I asked.

"All what? what happened to my bag!" Alexis shouted as she ran over to the hot tub were Aj, Maxie, Kristina, and Patrick were pulling out their bags.

"Forget about the bags!" John yelled.

"Who's hair products are these, it's like a whole suitcase full!" Asked Maxie as she picked up and opened a large pink suitcase.

"Don't touch those!" John yelled as he ran and snatched the suitcase from Maxie.

"You have a pink suitcase!" Maxie said holding back a laugh.

"It's Salmon! It was a birthday present from Dante!" John defended.

All eyes turned to Dante who said "You really kept that? It was just a joke man"

"Sam said it would be rude to throw it out and that I should use it to store my hair supplies" he explained.

"John, I think Sam's trying to get you shot" Kristina said causing everyone to laugh.

"Oh my god guys, where's Rafe?" asked Molly. Everyone began looking around, but there was no sign of John's adopted son.

"He's gone!" said Alexis as she looked around.

"Yes" said Tj causing everyone to glare at him. "I mean noooooooooooo!" he corrected himself.

"Maybe he left the plane" Mac concluded.

"Alright let's just stay calm and slowly exit the plane, we don't know where we landed so we have to~" John was cut off by Maxie who asked, "How did we land, where's Teddy?"

"Teddy is passed out over there and I landed the plane" John said proudly.

"You mean, you crashed the plane" I corrected him.

"Ohhhh, John crashed the plane! John crashed the plane, John crashed the plane" Everyone sang.

"I did not, if the plane crashed we would all be crushed!" he defended himself.

"John crashed the plane"

"I did not crash the plane!"

"Oh, are you going to try to blame that on Todd too?" I guessed.

"Oh John's blaming Todd, John's blaming Todd!" Everyone sang as they switched songs.

"Well maybe it is Todd's fault! If he's so rich why can't he afford to employ a decent pilot, and why can't he afford to keep his plane filled with gas so yah, it is Todd's fault" he whined.

"John crashed the plane, John's blaming Todd!"

"Oh, I'm sorry John, Next time we'll take your private jet, oh wait you don't have one!" I taunted while everyone continued to sing.

"Guys cut it out! Don't any of you care Rafe is missing!" shouted Molly.

"Moly's right, now as I was saying! We should all split up, and"

" I'll make you all a deal every man for them self, and if you guys find Rafe before John and I we'll kiss, but if not, You give me all your stuff including money!" I yelled.

"What No! Come back, she was joking! No guys come on! Stopppp Come back." John yelled, no begged, but nobody stopped. When everyone was gone he yelled, "What's wrong with you! Are you crazy! If we don't find Rafe first I will kill you!"

" Oh NO! the big bad cop is going to kill me, I might as well just kill myself." I said pulling out John's gun from his belt, and putting it against my head playfully. "and don't worry, no one's getting killed, this was a plan me and Rafe made before everyone else woke up. He's hiding in that bathroom." I explained pointing the gun at the half destroyed stall remembering when we had made the plan in case we landed on some deserted island.

"Fine, but give me the gun!" He yelled wrapping his arms around me, trying to take it.

"Cut it out, it's not a toy!" He yelled trying to get it from me, but I refused to give it. "Carly stop I~ ahhhhhhhhhoowwwwww!" He shrieked.

"Whoops, that must have really hurt." I pretended. NO one threatens me. Johns foot was now pouring out blood. He was almost on the floor when I heard Rafe yell "NO! Let me go!"

"What's wrong!" I said opening the door to find Maxie trying to grab Rafe, similar to how John was trying to grab me.

"I found him!" She sang excitedly.

"What!" John yelled from his spot on the floor.

"Yep that's right." Maxie yelled, while Rafe shot me a look that said sorry.

"Maxie come on, how about you say we found him and we'll share all the stuff we get with you." I coaxed.

She didn't even think before yelling, "I found him! Carly is going to kiss, John! Once again, Carly Jax kissing John McBain! Don't miss it!" She screamed causing people to start coming over. "Girl you better run." Maxie whispered to me, which I tried but of course Aj saw me and grabbed my shoulder pushing me back twords John.

By now everyone was here and chanting "Kiss!" including my son.

"No more Christmas gifts for you, or allowance!" I barked at him.

"Everybody quiet! No kiss is going to happen, ever!" John yelled as he pushed me away from him, got up, and started limping away.

"I guess you don't want these"Maxie yelled holding up John's hair products.

"What, put those down!"

"No kiss, but we get these." Aj said holding up my luggage too.

"What put it down or I will shoot you!" I said holding up Johns gun to A.J and firing.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" everyone screamed, but with my luck I was out of bullets.

"Bad decision.." Maxie sang holding Johns products closer and closer to the toilet.

"Fine!" John yelled before grabbing me and planting his lips on mine.

I quickly reacted and pushed him away from me, turning in time to see Maxie and Aj throwing our luggage in the toilet. "That's it! I am going to kill you!" I shouted at Aj as I walked over to him and tried strangling him.

"Mom, stop!" shouted Michael as he and several others began trying to pull me away from Aj.

"Carly calm down!" I heard John order.

That's when I finally let go of Aj and walked up to John shouting, "Do not tell me to calm down! Who put you in charge! You're lucky there are no bullets left in that gun or else I would shoot you, again, for kissing me! Wait till Sam finds out, are you going to blame it on Todd? Oh and wait till he finds out! I can assure you one thing John that bullet hole in your foot will be the first of many!"

"Did you just threaten me?" He asked calmly.

"Yes! What are you going to do now, arrest me?"

**~45 minutes later~**

As I sat down in the chair John had handcuffed me to I began to wonder if threatening a cop had been the right way to go. The worst part of being handcuffed to the leather recliner, which was no longer very comfy, was that Aj had been put on 'guard duty'. He sat there smirking making comments like, "Who's the bad parent now? Trying to kill your son's father and a cop? Not your best plan", and, "It's a shame your luggage is ruined 'cause those shoes aren't going to match well with the orange prison suit you'll be wearing". To be honest the first thing I was going to do when I was let go was stab him with a cocktail fork between the eyes.

"How's our criminal behaving?" asked Dante as he and John entered the plane.

"Let's just say she wont be getting off for good behavior! How long do you think she'll be getting? I mean shooting a cop? If you add in those death threats I'm pretty sure you can pin her for attempted murder!" Aj said smiling as he stood up next to the two officers.

"I hate you" I muttered.

"And disrespecting law enforcement? You're on a role today!" Aj joked.

"I was talking to you, but then again it would take more than one brain cell to know that" I replied.

"Hey calm down you two" said John. You'd think by now he'd know better than to tell me to calm down, Luckily, I wasn't under circumstances were I could object.

"So how are things out there?" asked Aj.

"We've landed in a field somewhere in Kansas. A family who lives nearby has offered to drive us to a car rental place a few miles away from here, we'll be leaving in about ten minutes" John explained. I noticed his foot was wrapped up because of the bullet wound.

"Splendid, so what are we going to do with our little attempted murderer over here?" asked Aj nodding in my direction.

"Why don't you guys give me a minute with her" John offered.

"Okay, but be careful, she's a feisty one" Aj said patting me on the head before walking away followed by Dante.

"I'm not talking to you!" I said immediately.

"Really? Okay, well we could sit here in silence, or you could let me help you" he replied.

"oh, and how will you be 'helping' me" I asked.

"Well we could just forget about everything that has happened on this plane today" he said simply.

"Yah, we could" I said nodding.

"Dante says he doesn't see a reason to call this in and have you arrested. After all this was an accident, no reason to bring in cops and lawyers." he said.

"Right no need at all, so you'll be letting me go now" I said as I shook the hand that was handcuffed to the chair.

"Not so fast, there is one condition" he said as he took out the key but held it a safe distance away from me.

"I'm listening"

"If I let you go and forget about all the threats and the shooting, you have to leave. By that I mean go back to Port Charles and leave finding Sam to us" he proposed.

"Over my dead body! You know Sam wasn't the only one kidnapped! Todd, my boyfriend, was too, so if you think I'm just going to sit back and do nothing then your crazier than Connie!" I replied.

"Hey that's the deal, take it or leave it. If you want we can always go with option B, I can just get the police to arrest you, and when we rescue your precious Todd he can come down here to Kansas and figure out how to get his girlfriend out of jail" John responded putting the key away.

"Or there is option C, I leave now quietly back to Port Charles, and when you and your little crew return with Sam and Todd, I tell the two of them all about how you kissed me. Then I guess Sam and your 'perfect' little relationship will be ruined, and I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but Todd get's really jealous sometimes. If he felt threatened by you, who knows what will happen" I said feeling option C was appealing to neither of us right now.

"I'm not afraid of Todd" He replied.

"Maybe not, but you should be afraid of losing Sam. She also happens to get jealous very easily, trust me I know. If you really care about Sam you'll let me go, and let me help you guys find her, and Todd. Everybody wins, all you have to do is let me go" I proposed.

"What makes you think I don't already plan on telling Sam? That kiss meant less than nothing to me and was because of a crazy deal you made." he reminded me.

"Right,well even though I made the stupid deal I wasn't the one who kissed you. I mean what are you going to tell Sam? You did it because you didn't want to ruin your reputation for being honest, or you did it to save your hair gel?" I asked.

"What I say to Sam is none of your business, and I don't know about you, but this sounds like bribery to me" he said innocently.

"It's not, I'm just saying I think plan D works out better for everyone" I hastily added.

"It sounds like it works out best for you" he muttered.

"Come on John! You know this is the best deal you're going to get. If you want I'll even apologize for shooting you! I mean I'm very sorry about that by the way" I added.

"I'm sure you are" he mumbled.

"Come on John, what do you say? Do we have a deal?"

**A/N Hope you liked it, sorry it was so long but we felt bad for not updating in so long. The next chapter should be up soon, don't forget to review any thoughts, comments, or questions!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Hey everybody hope you enjoy this chapter, for those of you who do not know Danni is Todd's daughter with Tea, and she will be making a quick appearance in this chapter. We will update soon, don't forget to review! **

**Sam POV**

"You guys just don't give up do you?" I turned to see my worst nightmare. You guessed it, the one Australian guy I hated more than Jax, Jerry.

"What's going on?" he asked his guard.

" I'm not sure how, but Connie got stuck in the window." Conner responded.

"Yes, but what does this have to do with Sam's and Todd's handcuffs off." He asked pushing us into the car.

"I'm sorry boss. The car ran out of gas, and Sam's handcuffs were too tight so I took them off of her." He said. He looked really ashamed. This poor guy really wanted to prove himself to Jerry.

"I knew I should have left you with your mom." Jerry said as he rolled his eyes.

"He's your son!" I yelled in surprise at the fact any woman would have a child with this monster.

"Yes Samantha, like the son you'll never see again." Jerry said through a smile, but I could tell that he was upset that we found out.

"Conner go get the extra gas out of the trunk. We can use some to slip Connie out, and some for the car." Jerry demanded. Todd and I sat in silence, but exchanged a look. We knew what we were going to do.

While Jerry filled the tank, and Conner tried slipping the now covered in gas Connie out, I slipped out through the door on the opposite side. I then crawled over to the passenger side. "Paul come over and helped." I whispered in my best fake Jerry accent.

"Okay boss." He responded. I quickly slid under the car as he opened his door. He stepped out and went around the car as I quickly jumped in and climbed over into the drivers' seat. I pressed the pedal and we sped off leaving a confused and angry Jerry, Conner, and Paul. (**A./N. The other guard was left to get rid of any snooping cops around the area.) **

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Connie yelled her head still stuck in the window. Todd told her to calm down or he would push her out some how. He then climbed up into the passenger seat, leaving Connie to catch a breeze, and a few flies.

"So what's the plan Seed Racer?" Todd asked.

"I don't know just sit back and relax, because it's going to be a long ride"

**10 minutes later**

** "**We're out of gas" I said as we slid to a stop at the side of the deserted road.

We all got out, except for Connie. " What are we going to do about her?" Todd asked.

"What me, I'm fine." Connie said. She then slipped out In a snap.

My mouth dropped open. "Wow, you actually are smarter than you look." I said. "So you're telling me that this whole time you could have gotten out, but you choose to stay in to distract Jerry and help us escape. You are brilliant!" Todd exclaimed.

"Yep! That's why I stayed in, Definitely not because I just found out the window could be lowered low enough for me to slip out." She said.

"Anyway what now?" I asked puzzled.

"Look!" Todd pointed to a sign that read 'Gas 10 miles ahead'.

"You don't think," I said referring to how far that was.

"Come on if we cut through the woods we'll get there faster." Todd said not knowing what he was getting himself into.

"Oh my God!" Todd complained. "We have walked for hours!"

I stopped and looked at him. "Really. We haven't even reached the woods yet! We just started walking a minute ago." I replied."Yah yah yah whatever."

"I want dipping sauce!" complained Connie.

"Dreams die get used to it." Todd yelled in response. Connie jumped on top of Todd. We were already in the woods. She started strangling him. I just stood there and laughed, despite Todd's calls for help. All of a sudden Connie screamed and jumped off Todd. I looked at him and then screamed too. There was a giant snake slithering up his leg. Todd still dizzy from the lack of oxygen he didn't notice, and asked us what was wrong.

"Todd stand still." I demanded.

"Why? What's wrong!" I picked up a stick and hit the snake along with Todd's leg hard. Sadly all this did was make Todd scream and the snake mad. It hissed causing Todd to scream and shake his leg trying to get it off. It worked, but not in time. The snake bit Todd before flying through mid-air and landing on Connie's head.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She screamed running around. I quickly reacted and grabbed the snake by its tail. I threw it as far as I could.

"Sam you saved me." Connie said shocked.

"I did, it was the right thing to do and you are annoying, but I don't want you to di-" I was cut off by Connie. " What is wrong with you! I was going to go up into that big drawer in the sky with my son and Willis. I heard that up there, there is free chicken with dipping sauce! I hate you Sam!"

"ugh! Can you believe her Todd." I turned to see Todd passed out, his leg bleeding from the bite. I took off my sweater, ran over to him and wrapped his leg up. "Todd wake up! You can't die on me, I'll be alone with Connie!" I yelled hitting his cheek.

"You can leave me though!" Connie yelled behind me.

"Todd I'm sorry I have to do this." I said Before slapping him. Hard. "owww!" he yelled.

"Darn it!" Connie muttered.

"Todd are you okay?" I asked. He got up and started walking a little lopsided.

"Todd." I said. He turned and walked back to me, and then pulled me into a kiss. "Ohhhh..." Connie said. I was about to pull away and slap him, but something wouldn't let me.

Todd finally let go and said "I love you and I always have. Your Pretty and a secret agent. Wait a minute. GASP! You're... Undercover." he looked around and then whispered the last part.

The bite had obviously made Todd delirious. That's the only reason he kissed me. He didn't know what he was doing, so the kiss meant nothing.

All of these thoughts went through my head, but, I felt a spark when I kissed Todd. But, I loved John not Todd. Todd made me believe Danny was dead, and he made me and Jason miss the first few months of our son's life. I hated Todd and I always would.

I finally got out of my deep thought to find Connie making Todd slap himself. "Again, Again." she repeated. He continued to smack himself which was amusing to watch.

"Connie stop leave Todd alone. He's delirious from the snake bite. He should be fine in a few minutes." I ordered.

"Now Todd come over here." I ordered again.

"No! I don't want to!" he said folding his arms and putting his back to me.

"Come on Todd now!" I yelled.

"Fine! You're so bossy. Todd do this. Todd do that. Todd I'm undercover. Todd I -" he then passed out. Again.

"Oh god." I muttered. "Todd! Get up! Wake up! Good morning.!" I yelled slapping him for each awakening.

"Sam." He muttered. "Yah, its me Todd." I said.

"Tell Carly that The briefcase with the money is in my...-" He then closed his eyes and passed out.

"Todd! Nooo! Where's the money!" Connie screamed.

"Just messing with you. I'm fine. I've just always wanted to do that." he said opening his eyes and standing up.

" You idiot! I thought you were dead and that I would be stuck in the woods with Connie forever, don't ever do that again." I said hitting him on the shoulder.

"Why, were you going to miss me?" he mocked.

"No." I said turning my head.

"Well that kiss said otherwise." Connie said smirking.

"What kiss?" Todd asked confused. I shot Connie a death glare, and she smiled evilly in return.

"You were all loopy after the snake bite for a second there and you kissed Sam, and she seemed to like it. Sam and Todd sitting in the woods, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the part with the kidnapped baby in the carriage." she sang. I then slapped her, causing her to tackle me while Todd tried to process this all.

" I kissed Sam?" He said. I got off Connie. "Todd we kissed. Can I say I enjoyed it? No. Can I promise it wont happen again? Yes!" I said walking over to Todd.

Just then Connie tripped me causing me to fall into Todd's arms. "You -" I started but was cut off by Todd. "Sam, listen I understand why you like me, I am the complete package and all, but I'm with Carly so this relationship would never work, and as much as I would love to see you break up with John and make him cry all the way back to Landview, you're not my type" Todd explained.

"Excuse me, I'm not your type? Your not my type! I don't go out with kidnappers and baby switchers, and I do not like you!" I yelled.

"Denial" Connie whispered to Todd who nodded.

"I'm not in denial!" I defended.

"You know, the first sign of denial is saying you're not in denial" Connie pointed out.

"You know what, stop! I don't like Todd and I'm not in denial! I love John, and it was just a stupid kiss that he doesn't even remember, and even if I did like it, which I didn't, it wouldn't matter because it didn't mean anything!" I rambled.

"Denial" Connie simply repeated smirking.

"Alright enough about Sam's undying love for me, what are we going to do we need to get out of here before Jerry and his unintelligent children return with pitch forks and fried chicken" Todd said walking farther into the woods.

"Wait Todd! " I yelled. " Maybe we shouldn't go through the woods after the experience we just had" I reasoned.

"Yah, when you kissed Todd, by the way I already came up with your couple name it's, 'Sato' " Connie said.

Wow even while being kidnapped Connie had too much time on her hands. "Or Tam!" Todd suggested.

"Ohhhh! That's a good one! Tam. hmm. Oh... Hickory dickory doc, Sam thinks Todd is hot. McSam is done, and tam's time has come. oh hickory dickory doc." She sang cheerfully.

"Wow two nursery rhymes in one day, you're on a role." Todd said giving her a high-five.

"Once again, don't like Todd! Anyway I think we should hitch hike. I mean what could go wrong."

**1 hour later.**

"That was the worst hour of my life!" We had just been kicked out of the worst car ride ever. We found a family that ended up being a pain, Todd insulted them, and we got kicked out. To top it all off, Connie was singing the whole time, Like "John was dating Sam, dating Sam, dating sam. John was dating Sam until she kissed Todd" and her favorite " This little Sam kissed Todd. This little Sam moved to his home. This little Sam gave Todd a ring. While John got none. And poor little John cried 'wah wah wah.' all the way to Landview."

"What now?" Todd asked.

"Guys. We're saved!" Connie yelled.

I turned to see a Cluck barn. "Oh God." I said shaking my head.

"Let's go." Todd sighed.

We walked in to the small fast food restaurant. "Welcome to the Cluck barn, what can I help you with." A brunette said as she turned to face us.

"Todd!" The young girl yelled. Todd who was behind me playing with a mini chicken action figure, looked up, and yelled "Danni!" Todd dropped the figure and walked out of the restaurant immediately.

"Hi" I said simply to the girl who glared at me.

"Who are you, my crazy dad's new girlfriend? I hope you can handle heartbreak, because he's going to be breaking up with an old woman like you VERY SOON!" The girl yelled angrily.

"First of all I am not his girlfriend! Second, You need to take a chill pill little girl." I yelled back in response.

I then turned around and walked out to go find Todd and Connie. Sadly, I came out along with Danny chasing behind me saying "where are you going?"

"To find your stupid 'dad'. From the looks of your relationship I bet that Father-Daughter day was fun." I said sarcastically

"Oh it was, Mostly because you weren't there." Danni replied obnoxiously.

" I don't like your attitude, no wonder why you're working at a place like this." I said, stopping and turning around.

"Oh like I care what you think." She mumbled

"You know what you are a real Bra-" I was cut off when we found Todd sitting on a bench rocking back and forward. Next to him was the famous Tea Delgado. He looked about ready to die as Tea yelled at him in fast forward speed Spanish.

"I'm losing.. My mind" Todd said wide-eyed.

"aye, Tu no tiene una mente que perder." Tea said in Spanish, face palming herself.

"Slow down, Dora didn't teach me that yet." Todd said sarcastically.

"She said you did not have a mind to lose." Danni happily explained.

"Si, y lo que esta's hacienda aqui Por que' estas con Sam Y por que se Blair caminando por aqui con una chica blon y una enorme canasta si el pollo?" Tea said in once again Spanish.

"She just said, yes and what are you doing here, Why are you with Sam, And Why is Blair walking over here with some blond girl and a huge basket of chicken? Her words not mine." Danni once again translated. We all turned to see Connie walking with whom I was guessing was Blair.

"What are you doing with this psychotic maniac. Are you plotting a plan to kill me. Protect me Sam." Todd yelled to this Blair woman hiding behind me.

"This can't get any worse!" I yelled.

"Guess again Mrs. Morgan." Said, sadly, a familiar voice glazed with an Australian accent.


	11. The RV

**A/N Hey everybody, hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the support for the story, don't forget to review!**

**John's POV**

"That was the worst deal I ever made!" I muttered as I sat in the rundown RV next to the most annoying woman I ever met.

"Oh please John! You're not very bright, I'm sure you've made worst deals" Carly responded. I began to wonder if there was time to throw her out the window.

"What deal?" asked Rafe from his seat.

"Nothing!" we both replied quickly.

If you're wondering why I was stuck on a slow, old, rundown RV with Carly, Rafe, and Molly, Well, let's just say it was all Carly's fault.

**Flashback**

"Alright guys is everyone ready to go?" I asked as I walked up to our group who stood together in front of the very expensive RV I had just rented, Using Carly's credit card of course.

Everyone stood there silently as they glared at me. After a few seconds they huddled together like a football team and began whispering. Finally they broke apart and Patrick walked up to the front of the small crowd. "John, I think you should have a seat" he said as he pointed to a bench next to the RV were Carly and Rafe sat while Molly stood next to the bench talking to Rafe.

"Okay" I said as I sat down. The group followed me silently.

"Guys we've been talking and were all very mad at you three, Maxie told us what you and Rafe did Carly. You, you, cheated!" Patrick said carefully as if the word was some terrible curse or something.

"I don't know what you mean" Carly said instantly denying she did anything wrong.

"Really what about you Rafe" Patrick said. Suddenly all eyes turned to Rafe who was sweating despite the cold weather and looked about ready to burst. He was obviously a horrible liar.

"You can tell us Rafe" Said Maxie staring at him.

"Uh...Um...Uh"

"Come on, just tell us the truth" Said Kristina.

Rafe finally cracked and shouted, "Fine, It was me! Or it was us I guess! Carly told me to hide in the bathroom so she could trick you guys in to giving her all your stuff! She said the plane crashed, and that we could be on some deserted island, and that every last item counted. She promised to share and I thought I was doing what was right, please don't be mad I didn't mean to do anything wrong, I'm just a boy!"

"Rafe! What did I tell you, DENY, DENY, DENY!" Carly scolded the boy.

"Rafe, how could you?" said Maxie shaking her head

"I thought you were on our side Rafe. You were like the little brother I never had, how could you do this to us?" asked Kristina.

"I expected more from you Rafe" Said Patrick with a disappointed look in his eyes. These people are way to emotional!

"I'm sorry" Rafe said covering his face with hands as if he were genuinely disappointed at himself.

"It's okay Rafe" Molly said patting him on the back.

"Anything to say Carly?" asked Patrick.

"He's obviously lying! That delinquent is being raised by John, JOHN! Do you all honestly expect more from him!" She shouted.

"Carly, Rafe's not lying. Now do you have anything else you want to say?" asked Robin.

"I want a lawyer" she muttered as she sank deeper in to the bench.

"Alright, so Rafe and Carly tricked you guys, why are you mad at me?" I asked.

This time Aj stepped forward, "Why do you think John? You were suppose to arrest Carly so we'd never have to see her again! But, noooooooooooo you had to let her go. What kind of detective are you letting this crazy woman run free?" asked AJ angrily.

"Yah I'm the crazy one! I never asked my mommy to fake my death so I wouldn't get in trouble! Your not just crazy Aj, you're a coward!" she shouted.

Before Aj could reply Patrick held out a hand to stop him, "No Aj, we've had enough violence today. That's why the three of you are being shunned" Patrick said. At that moment everyone turned around as if they couldn't look at us.

"Oh my god you've got to be kidding me" said Carly. No one replied.

"Guys, come on" I said. No response.

"You guys can't shun Rafe he didn't do anything wrong!" shouted Molly.

"Neither did I! John and his devil child framed me, I'm innocent!" Shouted Carly. She obviously had a lot of experience lying and defending herself.

"Molly, tell the, people, we will not be talking to them they are permanently shunned. " Said Patrick to Molly.

"Well, if you're shunning Rafe you're shunning me too!" she shouted causing everyone to huddle together once again.

"Molly, you don't have to do that for me, I deserve to be shunned." Rafe said.

"No, they're being unfair, and I refuse to let you be shunned for playing a stupid trick with Carly." She said.

"Thanks Molly" he said smiling.

Suddenly the group broke apart and they all turned away from us again. Tj then walked over to Molly and said, "Sorry Molly, but there shunning you until you shun 'those who shall not be named' with us"

"Well they can't shun us, because were shunning them! Come on Tj shun them with us" Molly said as her and Rafe turned away from the group.

"Uh.." Tj turned to see Maxie and Patrick glaring at him shaking their heads, "Sorry Molly, I can't. I should go" he said racing back to the 'shunning club' who began to file in to the RV.

"Oh my God they are so childish and mean!" Carly muttered.

"I know right, how could they just shun us! How could Tj do that!" Complained Molly.

"Get use to it sweetie, one minute they're all lovey dovey with you, and then the next thing you know you're being shunned" Carly explained to Molly.

"Great thing to tell the teenage girl, come on let's just get in the RV" I said.

We walked up to the RV door, but when I tried to open it I found it was locked. I tried a few more times, then I began banging on the door. After a few minutes Patrick walked up to the door and taped a piece of paper that said, **' SHUNNED= NO ENTRY. FIND A NEW CAR'.**

"Oh no he didn't" Rafe said.

"Oh yes he did" I replied as I continued to bang on the door.

"Come on Patrick I'm paying $500 for that thing, and I used Carly's credit card!" I shouted.

"You did what!" shouted Carly and I regretted saying that out loud.

"Five hundred dollars isn't that much" Molly reasoned.

"Yah, I'm sure you and you're rich boyfriend make that much every hour" Said Rafe.

"You're right" Carly said as she calmed down.

"Well, it actually costs five hundred per hour, so that's good" I muttered

"I'm going to kill you" Carly mumbled as she went into attack mode, but luckily Molly and Rafe stopped her.

"Hey, you were the one who wanted to come with us, and since you and Todd are the richest out of all of us I just assumed you would want to pay for our transportation" I said simply.

"Yah, well I am not paying for a RV that I'm not allowed to be in!" She shouted.

"Alright, alright! Just calm down, it's already too late I've already paid in advanced for 2 days, which is why we have to stop wasting time!" I explained.

"First of all, if you tell me to calm down one more time I will break into that RV and run you over about a hundred times so at least I'll know my money was put to good use. Secondly, 2 days worth of hours times 500 dollars is... Molly, how much is it!" Carly asked as she turned to the girl.

"Uh, well if you paid for two days, 500 dollars an hour ahead of time that would be about... 24,000 dollars" Molly said taking a step back from Carly immediately after the words came out of her mouth.

"Twenty four Thousand!" before Carly could run me over the RV window opened and TJ poked his head out.

"Molly" he whispered.

"TJ! You're going to help us get in to the RV, right?" Molly asked hopefully.

"Uh, actually Molly, Patrick wanted me to tell you that you guys are breathing too close to the car, so it's disrupting his shunning!" Tj said nervously.

"What! But TJ you~"

"Oh TJ" said a voice from inside the RV.

"Got to Go!" Tj said before slamming the window shut and running away.

"What if John and sam where to kiss as a peace-offering!" Molly yelled at the R.V.

"MOLLY!" Both me and Carly shouted.

"MATH ROCKERS! GO GO GO! MATH ROCKERS!" Molly turned red in embarrassment, before taking a phone out of her pocket.

"nice ringtone." I joked.

"Guys its Patrick." She said, putting him on speaker phone. "How did you get my number?" She asked obviously freaked out.

"A doctor has his ways, now, I'm listening..." He said.

"Okay, John will kiss Carly, and you will open the door. Fair enough?" The young teen asked.

"What! Once again did not agree to this!" I yelled.

"Shhhhhhhhh!" Carly yelled. "The girl has a point John." she said before muttering to Molly, "So uncivilized and unmannered this guy." She sighed.

" Nobody does the shushing here but me!" Patrick yelled. "Now do we have a deal. Just remember dorthy, You scarecrow, tin man, and the cowardly lion, are not in Kansas anymore." He said once again in a deep voice.

"We are in Kansas though?" Molly said.

"SHUSH!" He yelled.

"Okay Okay. But, before we make the deal shouldn't you check with your pack?" Rafe joked.

"Pft,pft,... Please Hold." He said acting like that was a dumb idea, even though I could see that through the window, and Patrick was consulting with his team.

"I'm back, thanks for holding. We agree, we will be out in a second. Pucker up Carly, Pucker up..." He said .

"This is just great, are you trying to ruin my life, 'cause it's working!" I said to Carly.

"Calm down, as soon as they open the door to come out and witness the 'kiss' well jump in the RV, drive away and leave them here until they decide they're done 'shunning' us" Carly said as if it were a great plan.

"But, that would be mean" Molly said innocently.

"No no sweetie, locking someone out of the RV they paid for and shunning them is mean, this is revenge" Carly explained.

"And to think, we were going to let you guys in just for willing to compromise, I should have known better!" said Patrick over the phone.

"Molly!" We shouted looking at the girl holding the phone.

"Whoops, guess I forgot to hang up" She said blushing.

"That's right Carly you can't trick us!" and with that Patrick laughed evilly and hung up.

"Great, what are we suppose to do now?" asked Carly.

"Maybe we can see if they have another RV we can rent" I proposed.

"Fine, but this time you're paying!"

**(End of flashback)**

After all that we ended up renting an old beat up RV, because it was the only one left. Who knew that many people rented RV's in Kansas? Luckily, the guy practically paid us to take the death trap on wheels. Even though everyone else refused to talk to us still I could still see their luxurious RV trailing behind us.

"UH, I'm hungry! Are you going to stop anytime soon or are you just going to keep driving until you see the Hollywood sign!" complained Carly from the passenger's seat.

I rolled my eyes, "Please we've only been driving for three hours, how hungry can you be?" I asked.

"I'm hungry too John!" Complained Molly.

"Me too, we haven't eaten anything since before that disastrous plane ride!" Added Rafe.

"Fine, fine we'll stop" I gave in, to be honest I was kind of hungry too, not to mention tired from this very long day.

"I saw a sign back there that said there is a restaurant one mile away" Said Molly.

"Alright, why don't you text TJ and make sure he tells his 'crew' we're stopping" I instructed.

Molly nodded as she pulled out her phone. As I exited the highway I looked in the rearview mirror to see the other RV was following us. I then pulled into the parking lot of a small restaurant. "We're here!" I said as the RV slowed to a stop.

We all exited the RV at the same time everyone emptied out the other much more luxurious RV. "We've decided to stall our shunning until after we eat, put you're paying for our food!" Said Patrick as he walked up to us.

"Fine, whatever" I mumbled as we entered the restaurant. We asked for a table for fourteen and the waitress said it'd be a ten minute wait. We then all quietly sat down on a bench next to the door.

"By the way Carly, here's your phone" said AJ as he took out Carly's phone.

"Were did you get that? What did you do?" asked Carly as she snatched the phone from AJ.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything. I just noticed I had your phone when I was on the RV, and I haven't seen or touched it since then" he defended himself.

"Did anyone call?" asked Carly as she scrolled through her phone making sure Aj hadn't caused any damage.

Aj shook his head, but he smiled evilly and it got me wondering...

**(Flashback AJ POV)**

"Shunning them was the best thing any of us have ever done!" I said as I laid back in the hot tub. This RV was awesome! It had a hot tub, two flat screen TVs, a popcorn and snow cone maker, a video game system with a ton of games, and a chocolate fountain! Now that John and Carly weren't here to annoy us, and Rafe and Molly to bore us, everyone was happy. We decided to take turns driving so everyone got to enjoy fun time. While everyone did their thing they all sang the song "A Thousand Miles" together, which was Patrick's favorite song.

"_And now I won,der_. Hey AJ, your phone is ringing!" Said Patrick as he take a break from his song to hand me a phone from my bag.

"That's not mine, I think it's Carly's" I said as I picked up the phone while Patrick shrugged and returned to his song.

"Hello" I answered.

"BJ! What are you doing on Carly's phone! Were is she, put her on right now!" Said a screaming Todd Manning.

"Todd, hey aren't you supposed to be kidnapped?" I joked.

"I don't have time for this PJ, put Carly on Now!" Shouted Todd.

"Hmmmmm, Oh Carly! She's not available right now, can I take a message?" I asked smirking at how angry Todd was getting.

"RJ I will~" Todd was cut off when there was some screaming and some yelling in a language that sounded like Spanish. Finally someone else picked up the phone.

"Carly, it's Sam"

"It's not Carly, it's AJ" I corrected her.

"AJ? What are you doing on Carly's phone? Never mind, is John there?" she asked quickly.

"Actually he's~" before I could finish there was a few more loud noises and someone else picked up.

"Quien es esto? Tienes que Ayúdame!" Said a frantic female voice.

"Excuse me?" I said wondering why Dora was on the other end of the line. I was about to answer again when there was more loud noises and another person picked up.

"Hello, who is this?" asked an unfamiliar male voice.

"AJ!" I answered now very annoyed by this cell conversation.

"I knew Todd didn't really have a girlfriend!" Said the man.

After some more screaming, more Spanish yelling, and a lot of rude name calling someone finally picked up.

"Alright, look AJ I really need to talk to Carly" Said Todd. He must be really serious if he was calling me by my real name.

"Todd I~" Before I could finish someone asked, "What are you doing" and there was a bit of screaming before the line went dead.

"Todd, Sam, Spanish Lady?" I asked but no one answered.

"Well that was odd" I said as I put the phone down.

"_If I could just see, you tonight! _Hey Aj who was that?" asked Patrick when he saw me put away the phone.

"Oh, no one"

**(End of Flashback)**

After a few minutes the waitress brought us to our table were we all sat down. I sat in between Molly and Rafe because they were the only two people I could stand right now. "Alright guys I know I said I'd pay, but please don't order too much I'm on a tight budget" I said.

"Don't worry John, I get it." Patrick said nodding.

"Hello, can I take your order?" asked a young blonde girl.

"Yah, don't worry guys, I got this!" said Patrick, "We'll take 5 burgers, 12 orders of fries, 10 orders of ribs, 9 orders of onion rings, 2 lobsters , and... you know, just bring 10 of everything and 14 milkshakes" Ordered Patrick.

"What! Patrick what did I tell you!" I yelled.

"You're right John, I'm sorry. forget the milkshakes, we'll take 14 waters!" he attempted to correct himself.

"No! You know what we'll just take a pizza, the smallest one you have!" I ordered.

"But... that only comes with 4 slices" the lady muttered.

"Then bring a pizza cutter!" I ordered as the girl scribbled down our order and ran away.

"John, that was not what we ordered! We are shunning you again, come on guys back to the RV! We can just pop some popcorn and put it in the chocolate fountain, and it will taste great!" Patrick said standing up suddenly.

"Yah, well our pizza will taste better!" I yelled furiously getting up from the table

"I hope you choke!" Patrick responded, getting all up in my face.

"I hope you drown in the hot tub." I said moving back.

"Oh yah?"

"Yah."

"Well I hope that you kiss Carly. Twice!"

"Oh you didn't just go there." I yelled startled. "I hope that you -"

"Guys that's enough!" Rafe yelled.

" Oh. Does orphan Annie want to start. Well I hope Molly explodes, and you end up lonely!" Patrick yelled.

"That's enough! Guys lets just go and leave Them to eat their pizza." Alexis warned. "Just go back to shunning and pretend this never happened."

"I wish." I mummer


	12. A day to remember

**Todd POV**

"Hello Mrs. McCall" said none other than Jerry. "Hello Mr. Manning."

"Wait!" I yelled

"What is it Mr. Manning?" he questioned.

"How come you said hello to Sam first? I'm starting to feel that you like her more" I answered.

"Oh, Mr. Manning, I just feel that Samantha is the Man of this house and should be entitled to the first welcoming." He said smiling.

"What! I can't believe you. I thought we had a connection." I said disappointed

"We do, Todd. Now would you care to introduce me to your friends." He said referring to Blair, Tea, and Danni.

"I would love to, but none of them are here, in fact I don't really have many friends" I replied attempting to protect the three of them from getting taken along with Sam and I.

"What about you Samantha?" asked Jerry

"Nope, no friends here!" she muttered.

"What about me? Are you going to ask me, I mean Jer? Come on, we have a connection too!" Connie said as she raised her hand while bouncing up and down.

I noticed Blair, Tea, and Danni were all staring at us oddly, the only thing that could make this weirder is if Tea started yelling at Jerry in Spanish and hit him with her shoe until he agreed to let us go.

Jerry sighed, "Yes Connie, go ahead".

"Oh, okay! This is Blair, that is Tea, and she is Danni!" Connie said excitedly as if she were a preschooler who had just passed her spelling test.

I shot Connie a look before saying, "Great, now that were all acquainted we'll be on our way, don't forget to write!". I began to walk away guiding Sam and Danni in front of me and Tea, Connie, and Blair not too far behind.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Manning. I'm afraid were not finished here" Jerry said in his funny accent as he quickly stood in front of us.

"You're right, and I'll tell you what, you just give me your e-mail and we can chat about those nicknames another time" I replied once again trying to escape.

"I'm afraid that is not the issue I meant, but if you're so eager to leave how about I give you a reason to stay!", and with that Jerry pulled out a gun, grabbed Danni, and aimed it at her head. Why couldn't he have just grabbed Tea or Connie!

"Whoa, what's going on here!" shouted Tea, looking at me as if I were holding a gun to our daughter's head.

" Oh my God! This is why we don't do daddy-daughter days! Everywhere you go there's a crazy guy with a gun and an accent who wants to kill us!" shouted Danni.

"Oh, is this your daughter Mr. Manning? I can definitely see the family resemblance not to mention the similarities when it comes to your attitudes "Jerry said smiling.

"First of all, she gets her attitude from her mother, I mean they're both really cranky. And secondly, Why don't you just let the three of them go, they're not a part of this. Just take me, Connie, and Sam and it'll be just like the good old days!" I said.

"Part of what!" asked Blair.

"Todd tell us what is going on right now!" shouted Tea, at least she had said it in English.

"Alright Delgado, let's just sit here and have a nice long conversation, while the guy holds a gun to our daughter's head!" I shouted.

"Alright, calm down! I would love to meet your demands Mr. Manning, but I couldn't stand to break apart such a nice family" Jerry said as his grip on Danni tightened.

"Are you kidding! We are far from nice, especially not Tea! We are like the most dysfunctional family ever! Breaking us up would be like a good dead! You'll probably win like, an award or something!" I said earning looks from Tea and Danni.

"Right, well I'm not particularly good at performing good deeds, so let's all calmly leave without drawing too much attention to our little group, unless you would prefer me to shoot your precious daughter!" Jerry said as he motioned for us to follow him.

"One Minute Jerry, can I have a piece of Connie's chicken first? I'm starving!" Sam complained.

"Well I suppose it'd be a bit inhumane to let you starve. Go ahead Sweet Sam, that is if Ms. Falconeri is willing to share" Jerry said stopping.

"Did he seriously just call her Sweet? Is that some kind of joke?" asked Danni.

"That's what I said! I was thinking more of a Sinister Sam or Selfish Sam" I replied.

"Or stupid Sam!" Danni added.

"Oh please Todd! You have the nerve to call me selfish when you stole my kid and gave him to your crazy Ex Wife!" Sam argued.

"I did not steal your kid I borrowed him! You got him back didn't you!" I argued in return.

"And who gave you the right to call my mom crazy, Stupid Sam? You know for once Todd is right, I think that name works for you" Danni said smiling. That's my girl!

"Oh Please! I think you need a nickname. How about Devilish Danni? Or dumb Danni?" Sam thought,so unoriginal.

"Sam quit calling my Kid names! I don't call your kids dumb do I? Not to mention the fact those names were horribly unoriginal! If you're going to act so childish you should at least make up better insulting names. Like, such as, Talkative Tea and Bitter Blair, those are Sam's words not mine!" I added when I saw the look on Tea and Blair's faces.

"I only call what i see. YOu know what you want talk names. How about tacky Todd, or terrible Todd, or ugly Todd,or horrible Todd, or i hate u Todd,or Bad kisser Todd!" Sam yelled seeming really upset.

"Sam, I understand that your -" I started but Mr. Jolly Jax, cut me off.

"We all know what you're going to say, that you understand that she's upset and your sorry, so lets move on and let sam eat her chicken." He urged.

" Two thins, one. i was going to say that i understand that she isn't good at this whole names things, and that she's in denial about that kiss. and Two. that's Connie's chicken not sam's ." I replied.

"I can't take it!" She yelled. taking chicken from the bucket and chugging it at me.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Sam is throwing chicken at Todd, Chicken a Todd, Chicken at Todd, Sam throwing chicken at Todd from connies chicken basket!" Connie sang.

"ENOUGH!" Sam yelled before taking the whole chicken basket and putting it on Jerry's head. "RUNN!" she yelled. "You ignorant fools!" He yelled, as we started running.

"This way!" She yelled, pointing at some doors of some place, wants we were far enough.

It turns that 'some place' was some chucky cheeses. We ran past the guy who was probably calling security since we didn't pay. We pasted all the arcade games, and head into the giant jungle gym area -Which helps realize that this is that famous place with the giant gym, where Jack recently was hired(He going to some college in the area), and then we hit a dead end.

"Hey sir, you cant-Ahh" we heard which told Jerry was gaining on us.

"Guys either the toilet stalls or the jungle gym. " Sam says. "I think our best chance is the jungle gym,it's the largest ever." Sam said. How did she know that? This girl is like a walking book.

"Lets go then!" Danni yelled.

We all head into the jungle gym, and climb up the netted pathway.

"AHHH!" Connie yelled. We all turned to see Jerry behind us.

"Eat shoe you freak!" Tea yelled, before flinging her shoe at Jerry. She has some really good aim. She hit him right between the eyes causing him to fall back down the net onto the padded floor.

"Nice hit." Connie said giving her a high five.

"Yah good job!" I said as we scurried through the jungle gym.

"Shut up manning!" She barked. "I still have another shoe left."

"Yes mam." I said climbing pass her over to sam.

"Hurry up guys." Jerys up and angry." Sam said turning over shoulder.

"ooh I got something!" Connie yelled excitedly. She then took out a big chicken thigh, and a grenade, from her purse.

"CONNIE!" I yelled but she pulled the ring , stuffed the grenade in the chicken, and yelled "Thanks for the ring jerr bear before flinging it at an already injured jerry.

I decided not to look back, as we all ran- sorry crawled for our lives to the nearby slide. "Move it!" I yelled to the little girl sitting by the slide.

"No! Shut up old man, you don't tell me what to do." She yelled.

"MOVE It NOW your life is in danger!" I yelled again louder, to the relentless little girl.

"NO THIS IS MY SLIDE. IF YOU DONT STOP, I WILL PUT _YOUR _LIFE IN DANGER." She threatened.

"I don't know who you think you are but you need to move." I said calmly.

"I'm Tom cruises daughter! You don't want to mess with me!" She yelled punching me in the nose. For a little girl, she punches hard.

"WE have to go!" Tea yelled, taking her other shoe, and throwing it at the girl, causing her to fall back, down the slide. We all rushed down just in time.

I found the little girl knocked out at the bottom, and picked her up reluctantly running.

WE all jumped down as the grenade exploded. Everyone in the room screamed and got down.

As we slowly got up i dumped the girl in sams arm. All of a sudden, you'll never guess who appeared. Tom cruise.

"You saved SUri! Thank you so much. I'm Tom. Tom, Cruise." He said flashing Sam a smile. All of a sudden i felt really protective over Sam.

"Nice to meet you Tim moose, she's not interested, and we're in a hurry. Soooooo, ah bye-bye." I said taking Sam's hand and walking away .

"Hey wait, if there's anything i could do.." He said taking Sam's other hand.

she pulled away from me before saying, "Thanks, but no thanks." She asked Giving him a smile and batting her eyes.

"No thank you." He said. before walking away.

"Wow. That guys a jerk!" I yelled.

"Wait, Guys Jack, Victor, and Sam , are around here!" Blair yelled.

"Victor Hugo? or the Victor I'm expecting." I asked already knowing her answer.

""Todd, victor is a live, and you two need to grow up and start getting along. This is not the time." Tea yelled.

Shocked at her response, i said. "Fine just go look for them, and hurry up."

All of a sudden I heard a stupid brother betrayer voice say, "Tea, what are you doing here with him." I turned to see victor with sam and Jack.

"Spider man!" Sam yelled, running to me. Little Sam, my nephew not big sam my enemy that i feel protective over.

"Hey BRO! Even though feel the urge to kill you for real this time, could we use your car. There's a crazy guy who probably should have burned, but will probably be alive and on our tails again soon." I said Trying my best.

"You can drive." He said throwing me the keys.

**Sam POV**

"How much longer?" I asked Todd. We had been driving for hours and surprisingly no one had killed each other yet, although there was plenty of complaining.

"We have to get back to Port Charles" Todd said simply.

"Are you kidding! We can't drive all the way to Port Charles" I said.

"Well we should at least try to drive half way there. I'm aiming to stop somewhere in Kansas" he replied.

"Are you crazy? Look, there was a sign back there that said 100 miles to Las Vegas, we can stop there" I reasoned.

Todd sighed, "Fine" he muttered.

"Toddddddd!" shouted Connie.

"You don't have to yell, I'm sure they don't need to hear you back in Port Charles" Todd complained.

"We need to change the seating arrangements, I'm sitting up front" Connie decided.

"Um, no. The reason Sam is sitting here is because she is the only one I can stand except for other Sam" Todd explained.

"Well too bad! I'm sitting there, now you can either stop so Sam and I can switch, or I will push your little girlfriend out the window and then take her seat. Your choice" Connie offered.

"You~"

"Todd, it's fine. Just stop the car, I don't mind" I said.

"Well I mind, and she's not my girlfriend" he muttered as he slowed down the car.

Once the car stopped I got out and went to sit in the very overcrowded back. Rather then using the door like a normal person Connie climbed over everyone to sit down in the passenger's seat. In the process of doing this she kicked Jack, Todd's son, in the face and woke up Dumb Danni. Great!

"Uh, who let her back here! I was hoping this was all just a very bad nightmare" Danni muttered when I entered the car.

I looked around to see the only other people awake were Jack and Victor. " Trust me this wasn't how I planned my Friday night either" I muttered as I took Connie's seat in between Victor and Jack.

"Hi, I'm Jack!"

"I know who you are" I muttered rolling my eyes.

"Yah, he's Jerky Jack" Danni answered earning a look from her brother.

"Shut up Danni, mind your own business! So, do you come here often?" Jack asked

I sighed, "Look I can see where this is going, and I'm too old for you" I said simply to Jack.

"Age is just a number, and I'm practically an adult" Jack reasoned.

"Oh please Jack, you still order kids meals from McDonald's!" Danni replied.

"I only do that because there cheaper!" Jack defended himself.

I rolled my eyes, "Look age aside, I'm still not interested, I have a boyfriend" I told him.

"Yah, she's dating Todd, did you not hear Connie's songs?" Questioned Danni.

"Scarface you stole my girl! Just when I thought you couldn't get any worse! And why would you chose him over me, I'm way hotter than him!" Jack complained.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I am not Todd's girlfriend, and I am not dating you! So why don't you just turn around and fight with your dumb sister!" I shouted.

Luckily Jack listened and began to fight with Danni. "Hi, I'm going to talk to you now, since you seem to be the only other sane person in this car" I said turning to Victor.

Todd began laughing and said, "There is a very long list of words I'd use to describe Victor and sane isn't one of them"

"Well if you don't describe him as sane then how do you describe yourself? It's obvious who got the sanity in the family" I replied.

"Oh yah, well I got the looks. I mean the only girl Victor can get is Tea!" Todd said. As soon as the words came out of his mouth a shoe hit him in the head.

"Cállate, antes de que todos en el coche están descalzo y me veo obligado a utilizar una de las granadas de pollo muy eficaz de Connie!" Tea shouted before falling back to sleep.

"No need to be so mean about it" Todd muttered.

"Que?"

"Nothing!" Todd quickly responded.

"What did she say?" I asked Todd.

"Something about everyone being barefoot and chicken grenades." Victor answered.

"She asked me not you victor. Me." He said but nobody really paid attention.

"So victor, I heard you were dead" I said.

feeling that came out wrong I attempted to correct myself, "Sorry I mean~"

"It's okay I know what you meant. You're probably wondering why I'm alive" Victor guessed.

"Were all wondering that" Todd muttered.

" It's hard to explain" Victor admitted, "Let's just say I'm glad to be alive"

"Pretty sure you're the only one who feels that way" Todd muttered.

"So, nice car" I said trying to change the subject.

"Thank you" Both Todd and Victor said at the same time.

"I wasn't talking to you" I told Todd.

"Are you kidding? This loser probably used my money to buy this car" Todd whined.

"Come on bro, isn't it about time you learn how to share?" Victor joked.

"There's a difference between sharing and stealing" Todd replied.

"Yah you know all about stealing don't you" I muttered.

"Borrow! I BORROWED your kid! Stealing is what this guy does! He locked me up in some CIA facility with our evil mom and then stole my life! He didn't borrow it because even now he won't give MY kids, and MY ex-wives, and MY money back! I am a borrower, Victor is the STEALER!" Todd yelled.

"Somebody's cranky" Muttered Connie.

"Your telling me, at least you didn't have to live with the guy" Victor replied.

"We never lived together! You were raised by our Crazy mother, hence your Craziness, and I was raised by other Crazy people, So stop lying you stealing liar!" Todd exploded once again.

"I was joking Todd, you do know what that is don't you?" Victor replied innocently.

"JOKING! JOKING! Joking is my thing, Mine! You can steal my kids, and my money, and you can certainly steal Tea, but you can't steal MY JOKING!" Erupted Todd.

"Wow Bro, you do know how to joke!" Victor said.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" and with that Todd turned around, grabbed Victor, and began choking him.

"Todd!" shouted Danni, while Jack shouted "Quit it Scarface!" and Connie shouted, "I'm hungry!"

"Todd the road!" I shouted.

Todd let go of Victor and stopped the car, but he was too late. The car had hit someone. I was about to exit the car to check on the person but before I could do anything Todd started the car and sped off. "What are you doing!" I shouted.

"Driving!" he responded simply as if nothing had happened.

"You hit someone!" I shouted.

"And..."

"AND we should probably go check on them!" I added.

"Please it was just a little tap, I'm sure they're fine" Todd muttered.

"Todd!" I shouted.

"Fine" he muttered as he turned the car around.

"Wow Todd you've tried to kill two people in five minutes, I'm sure that's a record" Said Danni as she and Jack helped Victor.

"I'm sorry you guys had to see that" Todd muttered.

"See what, how crazy you are!" Shouted Jack.

"Jack, I'm sorry" Todd said. To be honest I almost felt bad for him. It must be hard having bratty kids who hate you.

Todd pulled then car to a stop and he quickly exited. I followed him outside, and luckily Dumb Danni and Jerky Jack didn't follow.

"You okay?" I asked him carefully.

"Yah I'm fine. I just can't believe I did that, as if the two of them don't already hate me enough" Todd muttered as he sat down on a bench by were we parked the car.

"They don't hate you" I said as I sat down next to him.

He looked at me and I couldn't help but laugh as I said, "Alright you might not be their favorite person, but they'll come around" I said.

"I doubt it, especially now that Victor's back. All I can hope is that when Starr finds out she doesn't decide to move back to Land view with her stupid boyfriend" Todd muttered.

"I doubt Starr would do that she cares a lot about you and she seems to like Port Charles" I said.

"Yah, your probably right Starr's too nice to do that"

"Seems like she's the only one of your kids who got that trait" I muttered.

"Hey, they're not that bad. Jack and Danni have had really hard lives and they're both at that whinny age, but they're good kids, and I haven't been the best Father" he admitted.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! Carly says your great with Jos and that she thinks the world of you" I reassured him.

"Um... Let's just go check on that person I hit and hope they're okay, because there is a car full of people over there who will testify that I just went on a killing spree and decided to run someone over after I almost killed my twin brother, again" He said as he stood up.

We walked over to the person and I realized that it was a lot more than a tap. I checked for a pulse and luckily there was a faint one.

"He's alive" I said.

"Alright see if he has a phone on him" He replied.

I grabbed a phone out of the person's pocket and gasped. "Todd, this is Jerry! You hit Jerry!" I said showing him the phone Jerry always used.

Todd turned over the body to reveal it was certainly Jerry. "Wow, how did he catch up to us so quickly? Connie threw a chicken bomb at him!" Questioned Todd.

"What should we do?" I asked.

"Maybe we should just leave him here. After getting hit with a grenade and a car I don't think he'll be going anywhere anytime soon" Todd concluded.

"If we leave him here then he'll probably die" I replied.

"Is that such a bad thing? One less problem we have to worry about" Todd said as he took Jerry's phone from my hand and began to walk back to the car.

"Wow he can survive a chicken grenade but he can't be bothered to charge his cellphone" Todd muttered, "There's only enough battery for one call"

"Right, so we're calling John" I said.

"No, we're calling Carly" He replied.

"What's taking so long Scarface?" Asked Jack as he exited the car followed by Danni and Victor.

"Can you please stop calling me that!" Todd complained.

At that moment a shoe hit him in the head as Tea, Blair, and other Sam emptied out of the car.

"Ow!" Todd shouted "What was that for!"

"Did you try and kill Victor?" Tea asked as she walked up to him.

"Tattle tail!" Todd muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Tea! And I refuse to speak with out my lawyer present!" Todd decided.

"I am a lawyer!" Shouted Tea as she began to hit him with her purse.

"Guys calm down we have good news" I said.

"We're leaving Todd here!" Danni asked excitedly.

"No"

"We're leaving you!"

"No"

"Alright STOP! Look the dude I hit is the Australian psychopath following us and now we're going to use his phone to call my girlfriend!" Todd said as he took out the phone and began dialing Carly's number.

"Wait Todd, you have a girlfriend?" Victor asked shocked.

"Yes Victor, I do! Are you going to try and steal her too, because I'm going to have to warn you Carly doesn't go out with losers" Todd replied.

"Then why's she going out with you?" jack asked jokingly.

"Jack, don't talk to your father like that" Blair scolded him.

"He's not my dad!" Jack complained as he stopped away angrily to the car.

"As Todd was saying we have Jerry's phone, and we will be using it to call MY boyfriend John" I said snatching the phone from Todd.

"John McBain?" questioned Tea.

I nodded as I began to dial his number. "Oh so you're the man stealing witch Natalie was talking about, go figure!" Muttered Danni.

"Why don't you just~"

I was cut off when Todd snatched the phone and said, "I think we can all agree no one here but you wants to here from John McAnnoying"

"No one wants to sit here and watch you talk to your imaginary girlfriend either" Victor added.

"No one asked you Victor, and Carly is real! I'll prove it!" Todd said as he dialed Carly's number and clicked 'Call'.

"Bj? What are you doing on Carly's phone? Where is she, put her on right now!" Todd demanded as he answered the phone. I began to wonder who Bj was.

"I don't have time for this Pj, put her on right NOW!" Todd continued. Who's Pj?

"RJ I will.." at that moment I decided I had heard enough and attempted to grab the phone from Todd.

"Wait your turn Sam!" he said as he tried to grab it out of my hands.

"I'm not going to get a turn if you waste all the battery talking to Carly!" I shouted in return.

"Wait, that's the only call we're going to be able to make? Give me the phone!" shouted Danni and then everyone began screaming, Tea in Spanish, and grabbing at the phone. Finally, I managed to get the phone and quickly answered.

"Carly, It's Sam"

"It's not Carly, it's Aj" Aj corrected me. I guess that explains who RJ and Pj are. Todd needs to work on his spelling!

"AJ? What are you doing on Carly's phone? Never mind, is John there?" I asked quickly.

"Well actually~" Before I could hear AJ out I was hit in the head with a shoe, and I'm sure you can guess who took the phone.

"Quien es esto? Tienes que Ayúdame!" Tea said as she snatched the phone. I could only imagine poor AJ's response.

After that Victor took the phone from his wife who was obviously to distressed to even speak English. "Who is this?" Victor answered.

After a few seconds Victor replied, "I knew Todd didn't have a girlfriend!".

At that moment Todd snatched the phone from Victor and pushed him to the ground. "Alright, look AJ I really need to talk to Carly" Said Todd.

Just then Jack came out of the car with Connie and said, "what's going on, this guy needs help!" as he and Connie knelt next to Jerry as if he were some poor defenseless old lady who we hit with our car.

"Don't worry, he's waking up!" Connie said excitedly. We all began to scream at her, and Todd dropped the phone as he ran to Connie and Jack and grabbed them pulling them to the car.

"Everyone in the car, now! he said, and no one objected.

Before jumping in the car I looked to see the phone was destroyed. "Great!" I muttered as I quickly slipped in to the passenger's seat before Connie could object.

"He's up" shouted Danni and I turned to see a very bloody Jerry slowly standing up.

Todd quickly put the car in reverse and hit Jerry, again, before speeding off. "He's down! That should stall him for a while!" Todd muttered as everyone sighed with relief.


End file.
